I wanna win*

Jimmy took the kids to the movies tonight so I could finish my last minute catering business. One order of business was to finish a tedious appetizer that takes about two hours to assemble. The cooking of all the components took the day, but assembly is the real bear. Because there were no whipper snappers at my feet, I decided to pull out a table in the living room and watch a movie of my own while I worked. I cannot remember the last time I actually got to sit down and watch anything- let alone what I want! We only turn on the TV on Friday nights, so it's usually kid stuff. I chose a good romantic comedy that I knew I enjoyed. But, because it has been so long since watching media or even having the radio on, I was jolted. The language, the content, the situations. I was surprised at how out of touch I've been with media and how much I was bothered by a movie that I had previously LOVED. It's strange how I have a battle within me: on one side I am pleased with the fact that I have tenderized myself to the spirit to the point of that movie being abrasive. I am not so pleased with the fact that I really liked that movie and now I don't!!!

Sometimes I am jealous of my friends watching different movies, drinking different things at restaurants or doing things that seem fun that I choose to refrain from. It's a small taste of high school, I suppose. But I know deep down that choosing the path I have brings me peace. A peace not of this world. A peace that takes time to build and one bad movie to destroy. I have worked hard with my family to establish a home that loves God. I hope that I will always strive to do so. Sometimes it is too quiet for my feisty self to handle. The mortal part of me wants desperately to break out and do no good. But I know who wins. And I'm pretty competitive...

*said in Nacho Libre's voice

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