Mothers are crazy

for good reason.
Can I tell you about the day?
Jimmy took the littles to the gym for the sole purpose to have someone watch them while I cleaned the house with Kate. When Jimmy left, I roused Kate and got to work. I put her in charge of the front room while I scoured the kitchen. The real kind of clean. And what we call "mom clean". I learned the three stages of clean from a wise friend of mine.

1) Company clean- where nothing is truly in its place, but all the surfaces look great. Otherwise known as 'stuff and shove'. This is the kind of clean that occurs when we see someone approaching our house up the driveway. 'Mad dash' status.
2) Kid clean- things are put away in their place, but not in an orderly fashion. I can look in your room and it looks fairly clean, but just skating by. 'We have to get somewhere but not before you clean your room' status.
3) Mom clean- things are put away where they belong. Dusting and vacuuming occurs. Piles of things bagged and ready to be donated or tossed. 'Clean with a toothbrush' status.

I was doing my 'mom clean' business in the kitchen and had just gotten to the toothbrush stage, I kid you not. Checking on Kate seemed like a good idea. When I rounded the corner, Kate was sitting on the ground half heartedly tossing toys into the toy basket. "What are you doing?!" I say in exasperation. Kate replies in her lethargic preteen tone, "Putting stuff away."
Then I calmly and a tad bit sternly explain that we have limited time to clean, please pick up the pace. And then the toothbrush is broken out again in the kitchen and I happily start scrubbing down the sink. After the 10 minutes of scrubbing the kitchen sink is finished, Kate is checked on again. But Kate is in the near same position, with very little progress made. I take a deep breath and welcome her to my cleaning party. In which, she is my honored guest and has the wonderful opportunity to work right alongside the master. She was thrilled, I tell you.
We moved on to the side board. I asked Kate to grab the bright yellow soup tureen I had stored in her bathroom during Christmas. I had a cotton swab getting all the nooks and crannies. My happiness using the q-tip made me unaware of the time that passed. Wait. Didn't I ask my daughter to get the tureen 10 minutes ago? I call for her and she saunters into the dining area.
"Where's the soup tureen?"
"I couldn't find it."
"The soup tureen? You couldn't find the BRIGHT YELLOW soup tureen? That I am positive was sitting right on your bathroom counter?"
"It wasn't in there."
:: mom walks into bathroom::
::mom sees soup tureen sitting on counter::
::mom gives daughter a look and places soup tureen in its rightful place::

Next, As I move my way through the house, I give direction to switch the laundry. With my furniture polish and microfiber cloth, I am having a ball scrubbing down the tops of all pictures on every wall in the whole house. Bliss. Completing the final frame made me realize I hadn't seen Kate in awhile. She's sitting on the floor when I walk into the laundry room. My darling daughter is sitting in a daze.
"Ahem. What are you doing?"
"Sitting on the floor."
"In the laundry room?"
"Because I couldn't remember what you asked me to do."
"But you're in the LAUNDRY room?!"
"Oh, yeah..."

And so the morning went. 
When Jimmy returned home, I was venting my frustration at being unheard all day long. Explaining that when I KNOW something is located somewhere and another member of the family tells me it's not there, it makes me feel like I'm losing my marbles. It happens all the time! Or when I say something and no one hears it. So frustrating! As I am venting this frustration, I receive a text that is very clear. A text that I needed to respond to by leaving home in a short time to get the matter resolved. So, I read the text to Jimmy, word for word. Following reading the text, I share the plan I have to get things in the car to attend to this text information. After nearly five minutes of explaining my battle plan, Jimmy just looks at me and says, "Wait. What's going on?"

1 comment:

Scorchi said...

I know the feeling SO WELL! But it's sure funnier when it's someone else!