"Jimmy, call the cops!"

This past week, Jimmy and I rented a scary movie from blockbuster. We were hunkered down on the couch with popcorn and soda in hand watching wide eyed in fright. As the main character was in the midst of a particularly scary predicament, a truck drove down the road connecting to our driveway- very slowly. There are three reasons why this is an odd and frightening occurrence for us:

1.) We live way out in the country and only people who want to see us drive down our driveway... it's pretty hard to get lost in Napa and just happen to end up at our house. So we usually know everyone who goes down our road.

2.) It was almost midnight. How many people drive around very slowly that late without pantyhose masks?

3.) We were watching a freakin' scary movie!

So, I got scared and Jimmy rationalized that it was probably a neighbor. A neighbor that got lost. In our driveway. Yeah, Jimmy the protector.

We paused the movie, talked about the event for a few minutes and decided it was nothing. With flick back on and snacks tucked in, we settled down to be scared (by the movie) again. Jimmy and I finished the movie and Jimmy went to bed. I decided to stay up and watch Will & Grace. In the middle of a Grace meltdown, which is typical of every Will & Grace episode (that's why it's great... well, that and Jack and Karen's belly bumps) and that mysterious truck was patrolling down the road again.... I know, AHHHHHH!!!! So I ran into our bedroom, threw on the light and started screaming at Jimmy, "Call the cops! Call the cops!"

In true Jimmy fashion, he turned over and went back to sleep. After almost seven years of marriage he was used to the typical meltdown I have everyday. Too bad he's not too keen on belly bumps... Anyway, I calmed down and climbed into bed.

THE VERY NEXT DAY- I was home alone and I noticed a truck, driving very slowly, down our road. Panicking, I called Jimmy at work and he came straight home. We called our neighbor and asked if they had noticed the same thing. No, they hadn't. And yes, Stephanie is crazy. So I was now alone in my world of terror.

A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER- I had a ladies' night sleepover at my house. Everyone had been to my house except for one of the ladies. She was the last one to come. As I went to greet her at the door, I heard her giggling her way up the sidewalk. When we met at the front door, she gave me a big hug and said, "I am so glad you live here!" In my head, I was thinking, 'gee, so am I!' Then she continued, "My husband has a permit to hunt coyote and he asked your neighbors' permission to hunt on this property." !!!!!

"Huh?"
"Yeah, he's been coming up here late at night"
"Huh?"
"I told him to call whoever lived here to let them know"
"Huh?"
"It's really not normal to drive so slowly and so late at night- especially this far out in the country"
"Huh?"
"If I was you I would've called the cops!"
"Wanna bump bellies?"