It's all going to the Birds

Yesterday, our family had a fabulous time going swimming, having a picnic dinner and finishing the perfect day with a visit to the zoo. Now mind you, this zoo is a zoo in northern Utah. And northern Utah will not bother you with pesky displays of polar bears or tigers- no, no, nothing fierce like that. This zoo knows what it's people want- birds! Lots and lots of birds. When one first approaches the entrance, one will notice cute little monkeys. Yes, the visitor is lulled into the experience, "I see monkeys... if I see monkeys I shall also see other exotic animals, like polar bears and tigers. But lo! Behold! An exotic feathered friend. How beauteous in color! What is this gem called, I beseech thee? How lovely, a parakeet?" And so, we continue on to look at many a variety of bird. I actually liked strolling through the zoo. I loved the freshly mowed grass (sans bird deposits- they're in enclosures). Before long, we got to the duck feeding pond.
The kids loved feeding the ducks! While they were being distracted, Jimmy and I went over to look at a peacock. He was a beautiful fowl with gorgeous feathers resting on his back. But wait, aren't the feathers supposed to stand up in a fan shape? Hmmm.... there must be something wrong with this peacock. Have nothing to fear, Super Stephanie is here! Yes, I will help the peacock! So, I started cooing at the peacock, but to no avail. Then we both started meowing at the poor bird. That didn't work. Jimmy and I also tried a plethora of other strange unhuman, but peacocky sounds to get those feathers to stand up. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I suddenly remembered that animals on the Discovery channel sometimes puff up when they feel threatened. (I know you're shaking your head in disbelief at that last comment. Because if you know me at all, you'd know that there's something crazy coming next.) I happened to have a long, flowy skirt on. Yes, long and flowy. So what does Super Stephanie do, you ask? Why, pull out her skirt on both sides to make the skirt no longer flowy, but monstrous in size! So, what was the next occurrence in this twisted but amusing sequence? Actually, nothing again. I gave up. I turned around and walked away... that's what the peacock thought! I twirled around, jumped toward the peacock and let out a little 'roar!' Well, I would love to tell you that the peacock was surprised into submission and that it's tail flew right up as if saluting Super Stephanie. No, the peacock did nothing of the sort, but the couple that had mysteriously appeared behind me were a little scared.