A dream is a wish your heart makes...

...when you're fast asleep. Yes, when you're fast asleep, you do dream many a wondrous thing. Just like the excellent dream I had last night. It was all about the Jonas Brothers. I know that
in dreams you will lose your heartaches; but, man oh, man , I really lost my heartaches this morning! I don't know if reading a comment from April about Camp Rock made me dream about those cuties, or the fact that we heard their song, "SOS" in the car that night, but it sure was a fun dream. I hope that whatever you wish for you keep. Because in this nocturnal visit I became best buds with the Jonas Brothers. And I really wish that would happen! I was at a hotel checking in and I saw a limo pulling up to the front entrance. I ran over with my camera to take pictures, because I telepathically knew it was the Jonas Brothers (I know that dreams sometimes do not make sense) I was happily snapping away when Nick Jonas got really annoyed. I said to him, "Is it ok that I take your picture?" He responded very grumpily, "No." So I said, "That's fine, I'll erase it."And I proceeded to erase the pictures off my digital camera. He was so impressed by my respect for him that they gave us free passes to their show. We hung out with them back stage and they thought we were awesome! I think this was about the time I woke up. I did like that dream so much that I continued it in my head as I was in bed. So, this is what I added on: They came up to visit our house and we played Bohnanza (the addictive bean trading game) and rocked out to RockBand. They were obviously so much better than us. Have faith in your dreams and someday, you might form a relationship with the Jonas Brothers. I know I formed such a strong bond with them that their whole family came to our house for Thanksgiving. I made an knock-your-socks-off turkey dinner (I planned the menu in my head, too). Goodness, you know you're a dork when you cook for people in your dreams... Anyway, your rainbow will come smiling through if you ever have an great dream like I did last night! I got up and ready for the day. I thought I was done with all the teeny bopper nonsense. But those boys are so adorable. I know that no matter how your heart is grieving, the face of a very cute Jonas Brother will cheer you up! In the shower I continued my little fantasy. (Oh gosh, that sounds bad...I do have a disclaimer* Even though this dream is a little unrealistic- Iam realistic enough to know I am a married woman) If you keep on believing, that I am a big enough dork to actually continue in the shower, you'll love this. I actually finished the experience in my head by announcing in church that I would have some very famous friends visiting the following week. "So, please, don't make a fuss over them. And don't take pictures, they love their privacy." They joined the church because of my shinning example. And then, Kaitlin married the cute one! Talk about luck! Is that not an awesome dream/fantasy/experience?!?!?! Maybe if you have a more realistic dream than that- like winning the lottery, or having a clean house and happy family at the same time...Then maybe, just maybe-
the dream that you wish

will come true.

Travelling Pearls of Wisdom

• I've heard enough Christian Rock to last a lifetime
• Capri Sun is not child friendly
• Never, ever leave a digital camera on the desk while you are in the shower and your child is watching cartoons- a naked picture will result in this equation
• An organized car will leave the starting point, but it will indefinitely be an explosion of goldfish crackers, Capri Sun and some melted gooey substance of unknown origin by the time you reach your destination
• I have a cartoon crush on Handy Manny's voice (playhouse Disney, folks)
• Never bring a book to read when you can get E! in the hotel room
• A 4 year old has an inexhaustible conversation stamina
• Without cruise control, I might have developed a freakishly muscular right calf
• I get chest pains filling the gas tank
• I can only talk so long about 'the Narnia kids' with an inexhaustible 4 year old
• Truckers scare me
• Masked bandits might steal your motor home if your name and picture are not airbrushed on it
• We must have gotten the entire insect population on our windshield
• I am the only one on the road who knows how to drive
• Capri Sun is not put-the-straw-in-while-you're-driving friendly
• That old saying, "It's not the destination, but the journey..." does not apply to Nevada

Yes, YOU could be making six figures a year!

I just want to let everyone know, I think I hit the motherload! I do not have to work another day in my life. Jimmy can quit his job. We found the ultimate wealth machine. Ironically enough, it is called utahwealthmachine.com. While driving in Utah, we saw this car with the best advertisement, if I've ever seen one. The first word I noticed was chocolate. Yum! Chocolate, you have my attention! And healthy, too? Tell me, what does this mean? You mean I could have multiple people working under me while I sit on my toucas eating the fabulous chocolatey goodness? Well, sign me up and I could display my new found wealth in a fantastic money mobile like this one!

Handwriting on the wall

I will start off by saying, "my poor, poor family..."
At my parents' house in Logan they have a cutesy poopsie play room in the basement. The walls are a sunshine yellow with a border of handprints around the room. Each grandchild puts up a handprint to represent growth- this tradition will be repeated every year. It was Kaitlin's turn to 'post her blog' (heehee... I am so clever!) on the wall between her cousins' prints. Being the anal mom that I am, I yanked off her shirt so as to not get paint on it. Grandma taught Kaitlin how to do the print and off she goes. I hope I do not display the behavior I did in the next moment when I am at, say a sports game in ten years' time. I didn't like the handprint so I wiped it off and had Kaitlin do it again. And again. And again. Everyone thought it was funny that I just could not be happy with the final result. I eventually gave up trying to make it perfect. As you can see in the picture- it is not perfect- but I let it go and Kaitlin was ecstatic about actually being allowed to get dirty. (not her shirt, though)

The Controlling Mother's Mantra:

I will let my child get dirty.

I will allow a late bed time, just this once.

I will not use my spit to wipe my child's face.

I will take my child to the store in mismatched clothing (eventually)

Someday, I will start to believe what I keep repeating to myself, until then... let's go vacuum the corners, yay!

It's all going to the Birds

Yesterday, our family had a fabulous time going swimming, having a picnic dinner and finishing the perfect day with a visit to the zoo. Now mind you, this zoo is a zoo in northern Utah. And northern Utah will not bother you with pesky displays of polar bears or tigers- no, no, nothing fierce like that. This zoo knows what it's people want- birds! Lots and lots of birds. When one first approaches the entrance, one will notice cute little monkeys. Yes, the visitor is lulled into the experience, "I see monkeys... if I see monkeys I shall also see other exotic animals, like polar bears and tigers. But lo! Behold! An exotic feathered friend. How beauteous in color! What is this gem called, I beseech thee? How lovely, a parakeet?" And so, we continue on to look at many a variety of bird. I actually liked strolling through the zoo. I loved the freshly mowed grass (sans bird deposits- they're in enclosures). Before long, we got to the duck feeding pond.
The kids loved feeding the ducks! While they were being distracted, Jimmy and I went over to look at a peacock. He was a beautiful fowl with gorgeous feathers resting on his back. But wait, aren't the feathers supposed to stand up in a fan shape? Hmmm.... there must be something wrong with this peacock. Have nothing to fear, Super Stephanie is here! Yes, I will help the peacock! So, I started cooing at the peacock, but to no avail. Then we both started meowing at the poor bird. That didn't work. Jimmy and I also tried a plethora of other strange unhuman, but peacocky sounds to get those feathers to stand up. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I suddenly remembered that animals on the Discovery channel sometimes puff up when they feel threatened. (I know you're shaking your head in disbelief at that last comment. Because if you know me at all, you'd know that there's something crazy coming next.) I happened to have a long, flowy skirt on. Yes, long and flowy. So what does Super Stephanie do, you ask? Why, pull out her skirt on both sides to make the skirt no longer flowy, but monstrous in size! So, what was the next occurrence in this twisted but amusing sequence? Actually, nothing again. I gave up. I turned around and walked away... that's what the peacock thought! I twirled around, jumped toward the peacock and let out a little 'roar!' Well, I would love to tell you that the peacock was surprised into submission and that it's tail flew right up as if saluting Super Stephanie. No, the peacock did nothing of the sort, but the couple that had mysteriously appeared behind me were a little scared.

I have been having so much fun with my family... I'll explain later. But now, Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls of all ages! Come one, come all- I have found the mostest funnest game EVER! Well, actually my parents found it, but I just played it with them last night until 12:30am. It was so wicked awesome! It's all about planting beans and harvesting beans and... wow, that sounds dorky... beleeeeve me, it is fun! There are all these different types of beans. Example: Wax beans, red beans, green beans, etc. Well, it got to the point that we had all dropped the bean part of the name while trading beans. Highlight of the night: "I'll trade you a wax and a chili for a stink." Response: "I need my stink, but I sure would like a chili"... and on and on. It was great! One of my favorite things about visiting my family is playing new and interesting games. These past couple of days have been so fantastic! They've been so good that I haven't had time to post anything before this. I promise that I will have a wild 'n crazy adventure to write about soon. In fact, I've got some pictures in the works that will knock your socks off! For now, keep your socks on and enjoy the, in the words of Amy, 'chillaxin' posts.

Cash or Charge?

Cash, please. Yesterday was a day straight from the basement (that's what we call it- forget the double hockey sticks). Today was

awesome.

I guess we paid for it all yesterday. I would much rather pay ahead of time. So, if my theory is correct, we will have a great trip home. Yes, I choose cash.

We started this glorious day with sleeping in- whoo hoo!!! Then we went to a 'lavish brunch' as the hotel called it. The food was amazing! I had a freshly made nectarine crepe, duck, lamb, fresh fruit, canapes, smoked salmon and so many other delicious things. We went for a leisurely walk around the resort and ended up a the chocolate shop. Kaitlin got a lollipop and black licorice- yum to the former, blech to the latter. We spent an afternoon lazing around the pool. No one else was there, we had the whole thing to ourselves. Back in our room, we took a relaxing hour to loaf. Then off to a fantastic dinner. I had the best dessert I have ever had- goat cheese cheesecake! I came back to the room to google a recipe so I can make it for Thanksgiving. After putting long pants on Kaitlin, Jimmy took her ice skating for the first time ever. It was so precious. This last activity took up the rest of the night. Back to our room, tucked in to bed and

sweet dreams. This was all worth the horrible trip we had getting here! Goodness, how I love paying in cash.

Follow the yellow brick road...

... especially if you got faulty directions from google maps.

I love my husband. Today made me realize this fact more than ever. His number one virtue is patience, most definitely. The road trip we took from Salt Lake City to Sun Valley, Idaho is a stellar example of Jimmy's never ending patience. (Get ready for this... we took notes on the trip.)

We were cruisin' along on I15, going just above the speed limit that we were going faster than everyone else on the road, but slowly enough that we wouldn't get caught. At the the exit right before our exit (yes, the one directly before our exit- this is an example of cruel irony)- there was an accident. Supposedly a large accident, because all I15 traffic was directed off the highway on to a parallel highway. Now, I don't know about the intellect of the highway patrol in California, but judging by the next paragraph, the highway patrol in Utah do not have a high level of said intellect. I will not get into many gory details (*but if you like gory details, scroll down to the captioned pictures.) It took us FOUR FREAKIN' HOURS TO GO THREE MILES!!!! That ratio is highly unproductive. I know-I'm good at math. There are probably two reasons why this ratio came to pass.

1) The Staff- At the beginning of the detour, there were policemen directing all vehicles where to go. It seems that they took a lunch break, or fell asleep or did their grocery shopping somewhere in the middle there (who knows? we were in the traffic jam for four hours... they could have done a lot with that time.) Luckily, we knew our way around and knew how to get back on the highway, because all of those cute men in uniforms completely disappeared! Vanished. Toodles. By the time we got back on the main highway, they had already opened it up for traffic. Which means, by default, that if we had just sat on the side of the highway and waited for the accident to be cleaned up, we could have put the car in park, taken a nap and saved 3 hours and $1,245 in gas.

2) The Route- The alternate route was under construction- UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!! That repetition in all caps says it all, friends.

After hopping back on the highway, we had smooth sailing- for approximately 7 seconds. Then, Kaitlin started to be the navigator. She would say, "Mom, we are now on Doggy mountain. Take the next left to Christian Valley and then over Princess Mountain..." (I thought the Christian Valley was pretty inventive) On and on with the fake directions for about and hour then a, "Mom, now the directions say it smells like poo."

"Mmm Hmm... yeah, doggy mountain, christian valley, that's inventive Kaitlin, princess mountain, yeah... ok... poo, mmm hmm-WHAT?!"

"Yeah, Mother- poo."

"Do you have to go poo?"

"Yeah."

Aww, crap- she didn't go crap, I said crap.

We pull over for a nonexistent bowel movement and get back on the highway.

Yes, just in time for a huge dust storm. I feel like Dorothy, tumbleweeds swirling around our car, the whipping wind and- of course, the lady resembling a witch riding her bike past us with her own theme music.

Although the storm was frightening, it was pretty cool to see an actual tumbleweed. Never saw one of those outside of a cheese ball old western before.

Enough has happened to us already, right? Wrong! All that dust came through our vents and made me have a very dry nose. It started to itch. I needed a tissue. Jimmy used the last tissue around marker 173 for a cut on the ear inflicted by Kaitlin's unkempt but polished pink fingernail... yeah, not telling that story. So, I had to reach over the seat and grab a paper towel and swerve off the road and make Jimmy scream and also make Jimmy write on the notes for this blog, "Stephanie nearly KILLLED everyone so she could blow her nose. 'Do you want me to stop breathing?!' asks Stephanie in her standard dramatic way." Just so it's clear, I am not dramatic. I am expressive.

We get almost to Sun Valley and completely pass Sun Valley and get lost in a National Forest. We stop and unknowingly ask for directions from a grieving woman attending a memorial service. How were we supposed to know it was a memorial service- in a National Forest? Come on, people. Turn back toward Sun Valley, almost run out of gas, fill up at a random gas station still looking for the resort. Wait awhile until someone else comes to fill up. Pounce on unsuspecting victim in a quest for proper directions. Find out resort is across the street behind some trees. After an eight and a half hour car trip (that was only supposed to take 3) I heard the Hallelujah Chorus. Not after being married or childbirth or even the arrival of our economic stimulus check have I heard the Hallelujah chorus- but I did then. And then I thought, 'I don't think we're in Napa anymore, Toto..."

*Gory details

This was some of the beautiful scenery. This place was lovingly stared at for 27 minutes.

And these beauties were stared at for 14 minutes.

But, we fell in love with this gem within the first 9 minutes.

*Not so gory, but awfully cute

Look at that huge bed! She looks so tiny in it! We got to the resort and got to watch the dress rehearsal for their ice skating show. Kaitlin asked when she would be getting a pair of 'ice scoots'. The journey was worth it for that saying alone.

We made it... halfway!

We spent 11 hours in the car today. Woo hoo! This, friends, is the key factor of why this post will either:

a) Not make sense

b) Have multiple gammatical errors

c) What was I doing again?

Yes, we are exhausted. I actually loved the drive from Napa to Salt Lake City, but I really wish we could stay longer. Off to Sun Valley, Idaho- right after breakfast! Jimmy and I laughed the whole way here. We joked and sang and I tried to watch a movie while Jimmy was drving, but he kept veering off the road to see the screen. I'm kinda funny, in that I hate the sound of a car driving over a rumble strip interupting a film. Needless to say, I had to turn it off.

Well, we got to SLC and I exploded. (Yes, we ate a lot of fast food, but not that kind of explosion- keep you mind out of the gutter, geez!) Poor Jimmy. He married a crazy lady. I'm sure the crazy was exciting at the time, but now it's getting old. I have no room to complain, I married Jimmy for his looks and his money. All I did was complain, even through the lack of space to do such. We drove around for hours to find a spot to eat dinner ( ANYWHERE with vegetables... ) and then to Temple Square for pictures. We still hadn't changed our clocks to Utah time, so they kicked us out because it was 9:30 and they closed at 9:00. I was very proud of my parking spot in front of the entrance gate. That is, until they locked the gate and we had to walk around the block to get to our car. Anyone who has been to Temple Square knows that the block is the size of Rhode Island! Once again, poor Jimmy... here we see all these hand holding darling couples walking to their cars and I'm complaining under my breath. Enough complaining. We got here, we're safe and gosh darnit, I love my husband! Off to Sun Valley resort tomorrow, where I'm sure I get to post a relaxed and poised woman (I'll make sure I post a picture of that desk clerk) Ciao from Utah!

Testing, testing, 123...

When I visited a friend's blogspot, I noticed that they had a link to take a "color personality" test. I took the bait, followed the link and ended up taking the "color personality" test... as well as the "which food network chef are you?" test, "what kind of funny are you?" test and many countless others.

I really don't think anything is wrong with taking these little quizzes, in fact, they are so garsh darn fun. I do, however, think there is something wrong with taking these tests multiple times because I didn't like the first answer.

On the "color personality" test, I was definitely slated for the wrong color- so I went back and took the test two more times until it came out the way I thought I was. Ditto with the chef test. There is no way I am NOT a Rachel Ray in training. Do these silly questionnaires not know this? Clearly, they couldn't hear me shouting, "Yumm-o!" with every answer.

Please don't think that I am so cocky and self absorbed that I don't know myself when I look in the mirror. That, folks, is not the case at all! Case in point- I did take some tests that I liked the first answer.

There was the ink blot test. I liked that answer. It said I was ruled by peace. Forget the times I yell at my kid, or curse the s-l-o-w driver in front of me with a, "Darnit Anyway!!!" (I inherited that one from my mom. I need to keep in mind that Kaitlin is always in the car with me, so if I want to break the vicious cycle, I had better do it now.) I am truly peaceful at heart... when I'm sleeping. After a heavy dosage of sleeping pills. And a blow to the forehead. If it's cold outside. And my left foot is out of the blanket- only the left foot. So, yes, you could say I am ruled by peace.

And then there was the IQ test I took. I was really happy with those results! Ladies (mostly) and gentlemen- you are reading a very smart person's blogspot! Never mind that I took forever to answer every question. There was also the question I yelled to the next room for the answer.

Me: (mumbling)Wow, this question is really hard... hmm..

Ashley: (in the same room as me) What?

Me: Do you know how to find the hypotenuse of a triangle?

Ashley: Uh... I'm in 8th grade, I haven't even taken pre algebra yet.

Me: Oh... (yelling) Hey, Jimmy! How do find the hypotenuse of a triangle?

Jimmy: (also yelling) I don't know! Look it up on Google.

Me:(still yelling, but I really am ruled by peace) I can't do that! I'm taking an IQ test!

So, I did eventually guess the answer to that one. But, I didn't use a calculator. I feel smart because I looked up on google (after the test, kids) to see if the result I did get was a high IQ or not. It turns out that it was in the top 2% of the US population! I think I'm just a lucky guesser, because, if I'm so smart- then why have I accidentally smacked myself in the head so hard, that I saw stars? (Long story, I was conducting music very energetically) And why, for goodness sake, have I gotten stuck in a McDonald's playplace tunnel? (I refuse to explain that one)

Finally, if I'm so smart, why do I keep taking personality tests and failing them?

TED BEAR (yes, that's his real name!!)

My Dad is an amazing person! He has taught me so much in my life.
Here are a few fun facts about my Daddy-O:
1) He pays for everything with either $2 bills, Sacagawea Dollars or silver dollars- yes, funny money is his forte.
2) He taught me how how NOT to gamble with my money by playing poker with me. My ante, you guessed it- my allowance. And, no, I've never ever gambled.
3) He looks at nametags at every store we've ever been to and uses the employee's name every chance he gets.
4) He loves imitation crab and frozen peas.
5) He is one of the most generous people I have ever met.
6) He always says, "Oh, my stars and garters!"
7) He taught me how to drive- I learned more from him than I ever learned in Driver's Ed.
8) My friends thought he was cool.
9) He would pass gas next to me in the store then say, "Stephanie!"
10) He is the best Dad I could ever ask for






My dad can get down with the best of them...








I just love that smile!

It makes me so happy!

Happy Father's Day!!!

O vs. E

I used to love watching Oprah. I borrowed Oprah's special edition anniversary DVD from a friend and slowly started to drift away from the O fan camp. At another friend, April's workshop, we watched Ellen on tivo... talk about funny! Ellen is hysterical! I have hopped on to the bus to the fabulous E camp.

I just don't know what the deal with Oprah is lately. I feel like every show is just too touchy feely and serious. I love that Ellen's show is ALWAYS positive. I see enough serious stuff on the news, it's nice to have a light pick-me-up right around maniac hour.

We're raisin' her right

Kaitlin is a fantastic burst of sunshine in my life. I'd like to think Jimmy and I had something to do with that. Here are some of the reasons why my little sunbeam is so stellar:

1.) Kaitlin had decided that she wanted to be a red M&M for Halloween this year. I tried to talk her into something girly and cute, like some form of princess or fairytale character. After some debate I had given into the red M&M idea. I started to wonder why she even wanted to be a red M&M, since pink is her favorite color, hmmm..... so, I asked Kate why she chose a red M&M. Well, she replied that the color didn't really matter, because she would just be eating her costume after the holiday anyway. "What??" is the perfectly honest response I had for her. "Well," she answered, "M&Ms are made out of chocolate, so that means I get to be made out of chocolate! Yay!!!"
That little angel didn't know that her costume would be made out of fabric. Now, she wants to be a cupcake. Needless to say, I haven't told her that she won't be able to eat the sprinkles.

2.) Our family had someone over for dinner a few months ago. Kaitlin was very proud because she helped cook the lasagna we were eating. The guests asked Kaitlin what was in the lasagna. She replied, "Noodles, sauce and cheese." "Oh, what kind of cheese?" asked our guest. (I really don't think they were expecting an intelligible answer) Kaitlin, being the chef that she is stated, "We used two kinds of cheese. Mozzarella and ricotta." Yes, our daughter knows all the different cheeses... we haven't taught her how to pair them with grape juice... baby steps.

3.) Our daughter can be found belting out any Beatles song at any given time in any given place. She loves the Beatles!

4.) One day, Kaitlin and I had run the gamut of almost every store in Napa. She was so superb at every store, so I decided to get her a treat. I told her she could pick ANY store she wanted and get something from that store. She thought for a millisecond and shouted, "I want to go to the shoe store and get flip flops!" Yes, over the toy store and candy store... she chose the shoe store.

So, we're raising her right if we want a chocoholic chef and Beatlemaniac with a shoe fetish...

Does that sound like anyone you know?

Rock On!!!

My brother Jim came to visit on Sunday night. I would like to say that we spent the evening in deep and intelectual conversation. Or that we volunteered at a children's hospital, spreading cheer throughout the trauma ward. No. We are a shallow people. We went on a world tour for our band! Whoo Hoo! And we rocked hard!

Kaitlin is getting into full rocker mode.

Notice the nice tatt... I really think
the goldfish suits her.

22 Years Ago- Jimmy aquires the Atari 2600 & 40 games from a friend for $45. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the beginning of the end. For those of you with weak stomachs, read no further. Jimmy becomes a slave to video game entertainment.

20 Years Ago- Our dear Jimmy receives a Nintendo game system for Christmas. I am warning you. If you are the type to respond negatively to unpleasant stories, turn back now!

18 Years Ago- The boy saves up for a Sega Genesis. That's a lot of milk money, folks.

17 Years Ago- The prize of the collection is aquired- the Turbo Grafx 16. (Yes, that is how they spell grafx... all those video games went to the brain)

8 Years Ago- Many Christmases and 7 more systems later (I was starting to get bored listing every system and attachment... whatever that means.) Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl bans videogames.

7 Years, 364 Days Ago- Girl realizes that banning a lifelong love of mind numbing and unproductive activities is cruel. Systems may be played... just don't get the girl involved.

2 Years Ago- Jimmy buys a hot-off-the-line Nintendo DS and Super Mario Bros. Wife of Jimmy get obsessed with game and will not unclutch DS. Husband has to buy another DS to play multiplayer. Wife is not happy with 2 multiplayer and insists best friend and best friend's husband buy a DS. As they say at Applebee's... "eatin' good in the neighborhood". Until (cue dramatic music) dun, dun, dun!!!!!-

1 Month Ago- The same best friend that is talked into a DS now talks me into buying Rockband for my Husband's birthday. This, kids, is when it starts going down the crapper. We opened said birthday gift on the eve of actual birthday. We play all night and all the next day. Now, I am the one begging to play one more set and only putting away the instruments when company comes. That is, only the company that cannot play rockband i.e. the missionaries. Everyone else gets roped into a band quickplay.

Present Day- I am writing a blog about my negligence to deep intelectual conversations and cheering up orphans. But, gosh darnit, I'm getting a heck of a lot better at 'Enter Sandman'.

This picture is a display of what happens when your child is feeling ignored by
the Rock Band- playing adults in the room

p.s. Does anyone else think it's strange that a grown man can remember every video game system and attachment he has bought in his entire life?

"Jimmy, call the cops!"

This past week, Jimmy and I rented a scary movie from blockbuster. We were hunkered down on the couch with popcorn and soda in hand watching wide eyed in fright. As the main character was in the midst of a particularly scary predicament, a truck drove down the road connecting to our driveway- very slowly. There are three reasons why this is an odd and frightening occurrence for us:

1.) We live way out in the country and only people who want to see us drive down our driveway... it's pretty hard to get lost in Napa and just happen to end up at our house. So we usually know everyone who goes down our road.

2.) It was almost midnight. How many people drive around very slowly that late without pantyhose masks?

3.) We were watching a freakin' scary movie!

So, I got scared and Jimmy rationalized that it was probably a neighbor. A neighbor that got lost. In our driveway. Yeah, Jimmy the protector.

We paused the movie, talked about the event for a few minutes and decided it was nothing. With flick back on and snacks tucked in, we settled down to be scared (by the movie) again. Jimmy and I finished the movie and Jimmy went to bed. I decided to stay up and watch Will & Grace. In the middle of a Grace meltdown, which is typical of every Will & Grace episode (that's why it's great... well, that and Jack and Karen's belly bumps) and that mysterious truck was patrolling down the road again.... I know, AHHHHHH!!!! So I ran into our bedroom, threw on the light and started screaming at Jimmy, "Call the cops! Call the cops!"

In true Jimmy fashion, he turned over and went back to sleep. After almost seven years of marriage he was used to the typical meltdown I have everyday. Too bad he's not too keen on belly bumps... Anyway, I calmed down and climbed into bed.

THE VERY NEXT DAY- I was home alone and I noticed a truck, driving very slowly, down our road. Panicking, I called Jimmy at work and he came straight home. We called our neighbor and asked if they had noticed the same thing. No, they hadn't. And yes, Stephanie is crazy. So I was now alone in my world of terror.

A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER- I had a ladies' night sleepover at my house. Everyone had been to my house except for one of the ladies. She was the last one to come. As I went to greet her at the door, I heard her giggling her way up the sidewalk. When we met at the front door, she gave me a big hug and said, "I am so glad you live here!" In my head, I was thinking, 'gee, so am I!' Then she continued, "My husband has a permit to hunt coyote and he asked your neighbors' permission to hunt on this property." !!!!!

"Huh?"
"Yeah, he's been coming up here late at night"
"Huh?"
"I told him to call whoever lived here to let them know"
"Huh?"
"It's really not normal to drive so slowly and so late at night- especially this far out in the country"
"Huh?"
"If I was you I would've called the cops!"
"Wanna bump bellies?"

Kaitlin's Pseudo Graduation

Last night, we attended Kaitlin's preschool graduation. Kaitlin is still going to preschool next year, hence the 'pseudo' in the title. I'm not going to mention how I feel about all graduations other than High School and College. I will mention that I will be at any graduation presented by my child's school and be supportive. All cynicism aside, it was so adorable! Look at these sweet pictures and enjoy their innocence, then scroll down for my snap back into reality.

On the flier coming home to announce the graduation, it stated that children should wear church dress. So, of course I decked her out in a cutesy poopsie dress with curled hair and the little ribbon.I made Jimmy wear a tie and I wore a knockout dress and heels. Yeah, we show up and everyone is wearing flipflops and polo shirts.... we were supposed to wear 'afternoon at the golf course' attire? Where's my flier announcing that part?? That's okay. The family members we invited wore church dress because I told them to, so we looked like idiots together. We had a good time, nonetheless and I really love any reason to curl Kaitlin's hair, even if it is for a pseudo graduation.

OCD

So, I definitely know I am a little obsessive.
Since I've started this blog, it's all I can think about. If I read a good book, it's all I can think about. If I see a good movie, I dream about the characters.... you get the idea, like I said- a little obsessive.
When our family first moved up here to the hills, we had no internet access. It felt like I was cut off at the knees. I had resorted to checking my email at the library and the in-laws... poor Stephanie. Just recently Jimmy needed internet very badly to do his homework at home. So, we bought a super duper satellite antenna on ebay(we bid at the library, of course). Jimmy climbed on top of the house and installed everything and boom!- we're in business.
When we didn't have internet at home, it got to the point that I got super fast on the internet elsewhere. This is the way it went: In to the computer chair with a list of what I needed to look up, check the email, add movies to the blockbuster queue, forget about the list and, in the words of David Bowie, "wham bam, thank you, ma'am". That's it. Done. No more internet.
Now that we did have internet access, it took me a month or two to get used to the fact that I could look up recipes on the food network site- WHILE MAKING DINNER!!!! Yay! So, that's how this mess got started... then I started researching parties to go with that recipe. Next thing you know, I had navigated myself to a great little website, you night of heard of it- You Tube. You see, I was planning these parties (nonexistent, of course) with awesome recipes and great center pieces, but what to entertain my guests with??? Ah Ha! a web site with silly commercials, funny little videos and amateur cinematographers having their shot at the big time. Genius.
Now, one messy google search after another and I've started a blog. Now, it's all I can think about. I already have a post planned for the Fourth of July! This is the perfect outlet for someone who cannot erase all the silly, inane things said in public but, now, can rewrite a sentence over and over without anyone seeing anything but the end product!

Did I mention I'm a little obsessive?

"I got it at Ross"

I just have to say how much I love Ross. I went today (little tip: Wednesday morning is the best time to go because they stock clothes on Tuesday night and shoes on Wednesday morning). I got ten shirts, one dress, a pair of capris and the cutest shoes! All of those items cost me $99! Do you understand my obsession? I do have to say that the cost you pay at Ross is not really monetary, but more so in: screaming babies, unsupervised sticky kids (not mine of course...), aisles the size of a shoelace and pillows strewn on the only path you can take to your destination. I would say it's not worth it, but I love adventure! So, ladies.... get your bargains on!

Maiden Message

So, here I am, on the world wide web. Well, I already know I'm obnoxious- now there's written proof... For my first blog I want to be profound and amazing. I want to be so intelligent and scrumptious in my writing that millions flock from computers all around just to hang on my every word. I think that's what we all want.... but seriously, I'm just going to be honest and up front with it. I'm scared poop-less. (I haven't cussed since fifth grade- don't think I'll start now)


So, I hope you enjoy my run down for my very first, very awesome blog!

I have been married for almost seven years: I am married to Jimmy, or I refer to him as Saint Jimmy. Mostly because he is an amazing example to me. I feel like I make enough mistakes for the both of us. He is just so... good. Since we've been married we have gotten really fat together. We have laughed ridiculously about insanely stupid things. We have moved twice. We have tried octopus at a Chinese restaurant. We've just done so many fun and crazy things! I shall update as I gain more experience in the blogging world.

I have a four-year-old daughter: My daughter's name is Kaitlin. She is a ball of fire that keeps me extremely busy. Just a couple of Kaitlin's quotable quotes: "Hey, I just went potty in the bath. I'm just kidding... psych!" and when asked if she had a balanced meal, her response, "That's right... it won't tip over."

We own two very well trained dogs, Baxter and Kenai. I recently shaved them for the Summer. Too bad I wasn't aware that it's not really neccesary to shave a lab. Now, Kenai looks like she has stripes... poor dog, she only has her looks, Baxter's the smart one. They can do some pretty cool tricks. Those tricks do not include chewing open a bottle of glue that is water activated, hence, the saliva activated stain in our carpet.

Well, I did think I was way more interesting than that... but I'm sure the day to day will be more so. It's like talking to somebody after not seeing them for years... there's so much to say, yet nothing at all.