In the odd quiet moment between two siblings bickering and someone flushing something too large to go down the toilet, I had a moment of peace. In this moment I thought, "I have a piece of my old life back."
I sat there happy with the way things were going and thinking it was the way it always used to be. Then I realized, "Wait! This life is NOTHING like my old life!" The dawning of the truth came to me. The only thing that was the same about now and then is this: I am happy. I have found and settled into our new normal.
There was always crazy- now it's just different crazy.
I was always busy- but now it's freaking insane busy.
There was always underlying contentment- now I've found that same comfort.
My new life has none of the same logistics, but I still go about it the same way. Lots of scripture study, TONS of prayer and a sacred Sunday to top off the week. Because of the adversity that comes with being a parent, I have always had to rely on the Lord. I am grateful for His help. In this trial, I have never felt alone. I may not talk to my friends and family as much as I used to. It's only because I am in constant contact with Heavenly Father. He must be sick of me by now. I just love how things go when I let Him in. When I let Him guide. There is no way I could navigate life without the tools I've been given.
My days of quiet pondering with one sweet little girl have gone to teaching how to properly excuse oneself from the dinner table to fart loud...
Yet, the safe haven is still intact.
Love still abounds.
My joy is full... it's just louder.