When going into our appointment yesterday, I really expected the very worst.
I had actually geared myself up for how to grieve.
In a wonderful twist of fate, Jimmy was able to be with me at the appointment.
When the doctor came in to talk before my ultra sound he asked how I was feeling. Because he is a family friend I was honest with my disappointment. He responded, "You could be wrong..."
Then he started the exam.
We continued our conversation when in the height of vulnerability he said, "I read your blog"
Awww... great. I actually thought it was just par for the course. This is my life- feet up in stirrups, emotionally spent, seriously in the worst physical position and now my doctor knows my inner most thoughts. Niiice.
And then doc says in total amazement, "There's something there!"
To be honest, my first reaction was anger.
I know that sounds silly. But really what I thought was this, "Heavenly Father- this isn't funny. Stop tricking me. I am ready to say goodbye, why this little tease?!" Then, we saw the heartbeat and it really sunk in. Then it was just pure shock. Utter amazement. And I was- if you can believe it- speechless.
After our appointment we went to my in-laws to pick up Kate. She hadn't returned from her big appointment in Vallejo yet, so we got to be just thrilled waiting for her.
When my mother-in-law and Kate walked in the door, we eagerly asked about her appointment and how the testing went.
Then when her update was done, she looked at us sorrowfully and asked, "How was your appointment, mom?" It was so sweet and tender. The evil parents that we are played off it a little.
We acted quiet and subdued and said, "The doctor was nice enough to give us a picture."
When we presented said picture she looked at me and said, "What is this?"
Now, as most of you know- ultra sound pictures are pretty hard to discern.
So we patiently explained all the parts with a final, "And this is the baby. You're going to be a big sister!!!"
She jumped up and down squealing with delight. We all hugged and cried. It was so sweet.
And then I spent the night calling family and friends with the fun news.
It really was so special. And although I didn't get to have the great reveal the way I had planned, I am still pleased at punch to share the happy news.