Will I ever pass?

Whenever Jimmy hears "It'll be fine" from his wife, he knows better than contest or say, "I told you so" in the future. Would you like to know what I thought would be fine this time?

We went for a walk to go get the mail as a family. This is always a pleasant experience. What made this particular time so fun was that I had a brilliant plan! There is a beautiful tree in the middle of the south field on our way to the mailbox. I admire this tree, I long for family pictures on this tree. Unfortunately, the tree is always covered in poison oak. Lady Luck was shining on me today! The poison oak had vanished! I got very giddy, very quickly. Not only was the poison oak gone, the sun light was perfect. So, I bebopped over the fence and sat in the beautiful, portrait-worthy belly of the tree and beckoned my innocent daughter to sit on my lap. Jimmy expressed his concern. I replied with, "It'll be fine! If you're so scared, just take our picture." He agreed to do so... my dreams were coming true. There would be a sweet mother-daughter picture with the elusive tree hanging in our home!

First of all, Jimmy is fabulous at capturing video and taking pictures of video games... not so much with the people- so the pictures didn't come out as flawless as planned. Plus, I was wearing a hideous outfit with flip flops and terrible hair. It didn't help that the tree was uncomfortable as all get out and having a 50 pounder on your lap doesn't help with the bark riding up. But, I did it! I triumphed! The tree was defeated!

When I came home with an itchy rash, I thought nothing of scratching to my content. Jimmy, a veteran of poison oak nearly choked when he saw my going to town on my arm. "Stop! Stop that right now!" I was oblivious to his reaction. At warp speed, my husband got out he hydrocortizone and slathered up my arm with a surgeon's precision. In a split second I had come to many realizations at once:

1) Jimmy rocks the casbah for: a) not saying, "I told you so" and b) taking care of me better than I could have ever imagined.

2) The tree only attracted me because I could never have it.

3) That tree is so stupid!

4) If that tree was a person, I'd beat it up.
5) Whenever I say "It'll be fine" I should hide my self in a fox hole until the urge is suppressed.

And now, I'm typing to you on hyrdocortizone covered hands and all I have to show is these pictures...

p.s.- poison oak is still contagious when it is not showing leaves. Do you see all the withered up looking stems around us? Yeah, the withered up looking stems of poison oak are a test to weed out the stupid people- I didn't pass.