I'm outta here!

I am leaving tomorrow for Girls' Camp. I am wicked excited! I love having a reason to wear ridiculous clothing, sing ridiculous songs, and eat ridiculously good food. I hope that the trip up there is not as, uh.... eventful... as a couple of years ago.
Here, I'll set the stage: Our family has always had a habit of having at least one, if not two, cars that are- well, pieces of poo on wheels. Funny you should mention poo, I have a story for you about our Blue Poo. (We name all our cars. Right now, our little black PT Cruiser is named Giuseppe. You know, because it looks like an Italian gangster car from the 30's) Blue Poo is the blue caravan we had two years ago. When we bought it, Kaitlin was a baby, so I was blinded by the built-in car seats. Note: Built in does not equal safe. This car had been in our possession for about 1 1/2 years when I decided to take it to Girls' Camp. The faulty driver side door and funny noises made while driving should have been a premonition. In the parking lot where everyone met before the trek to camp, I left a puddle of antifreeze. At the time, I thought someone had spilt Gatorade (I can only fill up a gas tank and check the oil- don't ask any more of me, please.) Off I go with an unsuspecting, cell phone-less traveler. We're doing well, singing to Vanilla Ice and eating sunflower seeds, when there's a traffic jam. Going up hill. In the extreme heat. In my piece of blue poo. I seriously thought the car was going to die on the way up that hill. It did. But, I was able to start it again and crest the hill. Smooth sailing...for 30 feet! Then car dies again as we're coasting down the hill. Car dies= no power brakes= Stephanie tries to stop= almost hit car ahead of us= put car in park= serious whiplash as car jerks to a stop. Now, my poor passenger is regretting being bribed into my car by early 90's rap. That's ok! we'll call for help! Wait a second... passenger has no cell phone... I have no cell phone... fantastic. You know what, that's alright. We came in a group, surely people will recognize us and stop to help. Surely, people did not. They recognized us but thought we were taking a break in the middle of a highway in the scorching heat. So, what's a girl to do? Play charades with the people passing our pathetic selves. I started frantically gesturing a person using a cell phone to each car that passed by. Mostly people laughed, but I did finally get a sweet man to pull over and let us use his phone. I called my mother-in-law. She helped me panic a little more, but other than that, she had no way of helping, she was still back at home. Hmmm.... as I'm thinking, a police officer pulls up and adjusts his waistband (they always do that in the movies, first time seeing it for real- had to let you know)
He said in a very mountain man accent, "Whut chu goteere is uh vapur lock prob'em"
"Pardon?"
"Try'n start the kerr in 'bout 'alf hour"
although the man was hard to understand (even more so in writing) I listened to his advice. He was right! The car started! We made it to camp- praying the whole way that we'd be safe. We did make it safe, but as soon as we got into camp, the door fell off.

Mamma Mia! Here I go again...

I went with a few of my friends to frozen yogurt tonight. Wow, it's so late... I almost didn't catch myself- 'fro yo'. We had so much fun laughing and recounting painful labor stories (and the guys think we giggle in matching pink jammies and have pillow fights), when Rachel says, "I really wanted to go to the movies tonight with John. I even checked the showtimes, but I don't think he'd go see Mamma Mia with me..." Whilst everyone else lends a wistful sigh, I blurt out through nonfat deliciousness, "I'll go!" Yes, we called our husbands and let them know that our 30 minute frozen yogurt with the girls turned into fantastic disco music and unrealistic costuming party in a 30 degree theater... though I am still chipping ice off my nose, I had a far out time reliving my mother's past to ABBA's fabulous music. As much as I loved the singing and dancing, beautiful scenery and twinkling lights (hence, the new background)- the best part of the whole movie was the High School Musical 3 trailer. Sizzle. I heart Troy.

city girls... kinda

I did feel very grown up because I took public transportation into S.F. on Saturday. We met at the Powell St. stop (yeah, how tourist are we?) It was so fun to go into Union Square and go to Britex fabric. Anyone who does not know of this phenomenal store is a true gem. If you have been to Britex or have heard of it, I'm sure you're raging with jealousy. This fabulous place has four stories of gorgeous fabric, patterns, ribbons, buttons etc. and people on every floor who are expert in their knowledge of all the aforementioned goods. We meandered our way around the store drooling (I'm sure they have employee just to mop that up) and finally came to a floor looking confused enough for someone to ask if we needed any help. Of course we did, but if she knew the conversation that was about to ensue, I am sure she would have pretended not to see the glazed over look and puddle of drool and kept on walking. This is how the conversation came to pass:

Gigi (helpful and sweet Britex employee): Did you ladies need any help today?

Me (wiping drool and snapping out of my comatose state): Uhhh... yeah.

Gigi: What are you looking for?

Me: Well, I need a fabric that is stretchy, but not like a swimsuit but stretchy enough to have some give. And it has to be classy, not too tacky. I don't want the fabric to cling, but just barely hug. It has to be able to withstand some serious getting down followed by getting funky. But, I want the color to be such that when I put black sheer over it, it will look like this- ( I proceeded to pull out a swatch that my soon to be sister-in-law and interior designer sent to me)

Gigi (super hero of fabric): ok. I think we can work with that.

Then to my surprise, she used the strange and vague request to zoom up and down the aisles at warp speed, pulling out this bolt and that (I swear she had a secret compartment somewhere, because I did not see any of the fabrics beforehand). After 3.5 seconds, in front of me was EXACTLY what I had pictured! Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the mirror with beautiful fabric draped up and around me and a vision of the gorgeous and elegant frock I would be wearing once I sewed all this fabric together. Yeah... we'll see how that turns out... I also got the cutest fabric to make pajama pants. After being in the magic world of things fabric, my mom and I went to the Cheesecake Factory. Anyone who does not know of this phenomenal restaurant, it is a true gem. If you have been to the Cheesecake Factory, or have heard of it, I'm sure you're raging with jealousy. We shared the Thai Lettuce Wraps, Tuna Carpaccio and Calamari. Then we left... psych! What do you go to the Cheesecake Factory for???? CHEESECAKE! We shared a raspberry lemon slice of cheesecake with lady finger crust- delish! Like the city girls we are, we rushed down to the BART station and hopped on our trains. (I'm so incredibly urban and seriously, so blessed! Heehee) You will not believe what conversation topic came up with a couple from Australia- the Oprah/Ellen debate! Yeah, I won't say how that turned out... but, I did get home safely. Fabulous.

I woke up looking like...

Courtney Love. Completely delirious.

Just a few reasons for this:
1) make-up smeared all over my face
2) drunken looking walking to the bathroom
3) rockstar ( hideous) hair
4) gravelly voice

Reason for this:
1) too tired to wash my face before bed
2) equilibrium off from jumping repeatedly
3) headbanging
4) screaming and swooning uncontrollably

WHY? Because I went to an awesome concert last night!!! So freakin' awesome! I went with Carla, Michelle, Natalie and Stephanie to a Metro Station, Good Charlotte and Boys like Girls concert in Berkeley. (unfortunately, we missed the Maine because we were 20 minutes late. How many rock concerts have you been to that started on time? Apparently they are punctual in the east bay.) I had sooooo much fun. I rocked out! Carla and I were so excited and squealing like little girls, while the girls we were supposed to be chaperoning displayed the most mature and mild reactions to our experience. Maybe they should be chaperoning us! I stood in line to touch the guitarist from Metro Station because, like the goody-two-shoes we are, we followed the rules on the tickets and didn't bring in the camera. Everyone and their mother (literally- I was among hundreds of 13 yr. olds.) brought a camera. So, this is what I said to guitarist, Johno (he signed my ticket with a heart OoOoooO!!) "Hi. I didn't bring my camera, so I just want to be able to say I touched you." Then I proceeded to poke his scrawny rockstar arm. Love it! I also touched some other band member. I don't know who it was, but after much google searching, I'm sure I can find out. On the way out of Berkeley, we passed the tour bus for Boys like Girls and screamed like the girls that boys like! Wooo Hooo! So much teenage fun, it makes me want to wear my retainer again...

*****Metro Station*****

****Good Charlotte****

****Boys like Girls****

I've Been Tagged!*

Joys:
1) Cooking new and super complicated recipes. I feel like I've accomplished something if it tastes good.
2) Living out in the country...ahhh
3) Looking really hot. I love to strut my stuff, although I am too lazy to do it all the time. Maybe that's why I feel so great when I actually try. I like to think it negates all the times I wear sweat pants in public.

Fears:
1) Being lost at sea. There's something about being surrounded by water you can't drink that bothers me. Maybe it's an unconscious metaphor?
2) Jimmy dying before me.
3) Kaitlin being the outcast in school. I hate seeing her feelings get hurt by her peers. It makes my heart literally hurt.

Goals:
I want to open a cafe in some cute downtown location. I already have so many ideas! I also want to eventually build our dream house. I have already drawn out the floor plan... and did it to scale... and drew little tiny pieces of furniture. I want to be financially stable enough to have all my children go through high school without having to get a job. I have learned from a very wise woman to fight to retain my childrens' childhood because they will be adults for the rest of their lives. I want to be eloquent... someday. I want to be that person that everybody quotes in a RS lesson, just because I am wise and humble and strong. I want to be just like Linda Hosking.

Current Obsessions: Blogging for one. My new digital camera, Chronicles of Narnia, Twilight (heeheheheheeee.... I luv luv luv Edward) also: Rock Band, blogging, goat cheese, 'Shake it' by Metro Station, blogging, chocolate covered peanut butter filled pretzels from TJ's... These are just my obsessions for today. I do have an obsessive personality i.e. check out this post.

*I would like to tag Lynda/Kyle, Corinne and Mom

You are reading...

...the blog of the biggest idiot in the world! Yes, you read right, kids. Because only the biggest idiot in the world would leave their purse in the basket at Target! And only the biggest idiot in the world would not notice for half a day that they were missing something vital to, say... go out to lunch or finish a perfect outfit. My outfit was not perfect today (unless I was attending a Trailer park Troubadours concert. Example below.). But I did need my purse to pay for the lunch I was planning on eating with a friend. It was only when I parked at the restaurant that I realized I needed money to pay for lunch. I could have gotten it for free on my good looks, but you've seen the picture of the day's motif :(. So, I tried to remember where I left my purse. Hmmmm... I have been up and at 'em since 6:00, so there was a few places to choose from. I had decided that the most logical place was my mother-in-law's house. I called her place and asked about the purse. No luck. Called the next logical place- Target. I was lead through an automated menu that told me all kinds of information about the wonders of the Target corporation and such. I could touch a number on my keypad and be whisked off to magical places. Like, the electronics department, children's department- but alas, no department for the complete idiot who left a valuable accessory in a red shopping cart. I finally got through to someone. She was very helpful in making me wait on the line for 11 minutes and abruptly disconnecting my pleasant journey of muzak. Gosh, how I love Kenny G in a frustrating situation. After calling back the second time, I got to talk to someone. Here's how it went:

Me: Hi, I think I got disconnected the first time. Did I leave my purse at your store?

Unhelpful minimum wage teenager: Yeah, uhhhhhh, hold on.

Me:(after 7 minutes of waiting) So, did you find it?

Unhelpful minimum wage teenager: Yeah, I think so. Could you describe it?

Me: Well, it's black, with great buckles on the side, and it has a black wallet inside... oh yeah! and a jar of curry simmer sauce from Trader Joe's! (I thought that was sooo funny, so I giggled- I'll admit it- curry does strange things to me.)

Unhelpful minimum wage teenager: (not laughing. Well, maybe not with me.) yeah... that's it.

Me: I'll be right down!

I zoomed down to Target, ran up to the service desk and waited in line. When it was my turn, I mentioned why I was there. The teenager behind the desk asked me again to describe the bag. Thinking it would be funny the second time I mentioned it to her, I said, " It has a jar of curry simmer sauce from Trader Joe's. Hahahaha....(laughter tapers off. I guess it's not funny the second time.)" The teenager asked me if there was anything else I could describe. WHAT?!?! you mean a jar of deliciousness isn't enough? So, I am still the biggest idiot in the world- but I have a sense of humor about it and I am eating fantastically while I'm at it.

I know her better than I thought...

Today, while our family was leaving church, Jimmy and I were looking at all the goodies Kaitlin had scored in Primary. Somehow, she had gotten a WALL-E watch (hideous and rubber, but she likes it) the usual random crayon drawings and three identical cards advertising the new movie, 'Beverly Hills Chihuahua'. Jimmy wanted to take one of the cards to work so that he and his macho co-workers could laugh at the advertisement. They also listen to KISS and have gaming tournaments... gosh, those warehouse boys! Kaitlin wasn't looking when Jimmy slipped one into his pocket. I said, "Jimmy, you know she's going to realize one is missing, right?" Jimmy's response, "They're exactly the same! She won't notice." Kaitlin turns around and grabs her things to put into the car. What's the first thing she says? "Hey! Where's my other card?!?!?!"

P.S. I still don't know how K got the watch and advertisements... I hope she didn't steal them from an unsuspecting sunbeam...

Wanna hear something gross?

• I like to dip my broccoli in mayonnaise
• I just paid a $21.50 library fine- and did not damage a book- just fees
• I had a friend that would trim his toenails with his teeth- ugh!
• I like maple syrup on my breakfast sausage
• I haven't cleaned our guest bathroom since the last week in May (I'm doing it today...)
• I've seen a lizard lose it's tail
• I have killed a countless amount of spiders (we stopped counting at 2,387)
• I have only seen the Sound of Music one time and it was last year, and only because a prompting at Girls' Camp
• I've spotted a black scorpion in our bedroom
• I'm not afraid of ticks anymore, it's a nightly occurence on our dogs
• Kaitlin is not afraid of ticks anymore, she's picked them up with toilet paper and flushed 'em- just like Mommy!!!
• Jimmy puts hot sauce on EVERYTHING- sometimes even ice cream!
• I've played 'covered wagon'
• My father-in-law puts ketchup AND peanut butter on his pizza

Blech!

Happy 4th of July!

I have always loved the 4th of July. When I was 12 years old, I created a parade in my neighborhood. The first year it was a 'boutique' parade, meaning there about 6 people there, one of which was the moving crowd- a teenage boy who ran ahead of the parade and clapped for us as we went by. Now the parade is still going strong. Hundreds of people each year come now! There is a fire engine, clowns, popsicle sales and a band. I'm proud to say I started that. So, if you're ever in Coventry, Rhode Island- make sure to attend the annual Apple Blossom Lane Parade. On to current years... we enjoyed fireworks, hot dogs, a sand castle building contest and corn on the cob. I love spending time with my family. I am grateful to live in a country where so many people have fought for my liberty. Thank you to all who served for my country. I love the oppotunities I have because of them!

No, we did not put this sign up there just to take a picture for my blog. Someone actually wrote this. If you can't read the sign, it says, "SORRY WE NOT HAVED CURLYFRIES AND SPACY CHiCKEN SORRY" I'm not sure if the second sorry was for the lack of goods or lack of grammar. (Please take not of the lone lower case 'i' in the sign... poor 'i')

A hot dog AND a popsicle! Only in America and when mom isn't looking!

Kaitling is seriously punishing that hot dog! Please take note of the awesome heart tatt. No, it doesn't say 'Mom' beneath it.

My niece Nora is so cute! This is the first time she had ever had a popsicle. She is following in her cousin, Kaitlin's footsteps- she is punishing that sweet treat!

Kaitlin was buried in the sand by her auntie, Ashley. It is always cute to see her enjoy the beach and do things for the first time.

"Please, tell me you know Herman's Hermits!"

"Come on, man!" overheard by the man behind me in line at Trader Joe's.

At TJ's, totally awesome music was being piped in through the speakers. All late 50's and early 60's music. Fantastic stuff, that is. It got to the point that I was dancing and singing in the produce section while Kaitlin whispered, "You're embarassing me, Mom!" Yeah, she's four years old. I thought I had ten more years before I embarassed her. I didn't even know she knew the meaning of the word, nevermind putting it in context and italics. As I am bebopping around the store, Kaitlin is following at a distance that people would think she was a mature four year old shopping all by herself. By the end of our shopping experience, I had heard music from the Beatles, the Supremes and Herman's Hermits. In fact, the song "Henry the 8th" was just ending as I got into line to pay for my purchases. I was so excited that Herman's Hermit's was on that I asked the teenage cashier if he liked them. He looked at me as if I asked if they had pig head in stock. (If you don't know what that look is- it's look combining disgust, fear, confusion and curiosity. I'm sure there was a mixture of, 'this lady's crazy' in there, but not enough to tip the scale) So, I proceeded to embarass my daughter, who was actually two people behind me in line waiting to buy the things a mature four year old shopping all by herself would purchase, by asking the cashier, "Have you ever seen that movie Ghost? Or, do you not have a girlfriend that would make you watch that movie?" I thought I said it jokingly. But, you see, it's only a joke if he did have a girlfriend. "It's in that movie. It's the part where he's trying to keep the psychic awake. He's just screaming it." The very embarassed (because I let everyone know he didn't have a girlfriend) cashier said, "Oh, that song 'Melody off the hook'?"

"Uhhh... 'Unchained Melody', you mean- goodness, no! That song is by the Everly Brothers, well not originally..."

"No, still don't know the song. I can check in the back if we have any pig's head..."

"No, no that's ok. But you know who the Everly Brothers are, right?"

"Yeah, aren't they the guys who grown women like you have dreams about?"

"No, that's Zac Efron, Edward and Jacob"

"I don't know what you're talking about now. Would you like help with your groceries? Please say no."

I go weak in the knees for navy

Blue, that is. Pathetic, I know. It must be the nautical spirit in me. One of my favorite outfits is a navy polo shirt, crisp white capris and the shoes pictured in my third post. How did I come to start a blog all about the color navy blue? Well, kids, I will tell you. Pull up a seat and stay awhile- this will take some time...

Once upon a time, in a town square so quaint

Was a group of quirky friends, all Latter-Day Saints

we gathered together because of Christopher's sandwich, fair

and decided to meet, to try the good eats there

it all started with a picture posted on Kelly's page

April made a comment that definitely set the stage

Carla and Stephanie joined in, the picture enticed them too

Then seven women came, when it started with just two

We laughed about our blogging done, and lack thereof for some

We ate amazing, cheap food and had loads of fun!

So, now I'm done with the rhyming (how exhausting!) but, not done with the story. I bet you're wondering why I made such a big deal about navy. Well, at lunch- some of the ladies had no idea what we were talking about when it came to blogging. I think one was so confused with the lingo. You know: post, comment, profile, yada, yada, yada. I went shopping after lunch with a couple ladies for makeup. Yeah, that turned into hair product, makeup from two other stores, clothes shopping, throwing clothes over the door to each other, all that awesomeness that comes with shopping. It was a hoot! I just continued talking about blogging with the ladies that looked at me like I had two heads. (they were of the non blogging side of the table) I felt so bad when I kept saying to them, "See! All this stuff you're telling me would go great on a post. You should totally do it!" On and on I go- even with the rolling eyes and long sighs from my shopping buddies. I decided in the middle of our shopping that I would quit talking about blogging. I did really well! I almost made it out of the store. We were on the threshold leaving our last store. We pass a super cute navy blue skirt and DENIED! I just had to come out with, "I go weak in the knees for navy. Wow! That's a great title for my post"

p.s. I got a kick butt red lipstick, can I get a whut, whut?