she's baaack!

Well, after using a hammer a chisel to chip off the final layer of dirt, I have found the time in between loads of laundry to tell a few stories from girls' camp. If you are the type to be offended or woozy from displays of bodily functions, please read the next blog in your list. You will not like what you are about to read.

As one of my responsibilities at girls' camp, I had to wake the girls up in the morning. Despite not being a morning person, this was my favorite part of the day. I loved the way they tunneled out of their sleeping bags like little moles and would give my the most unique faces. It just made me laugh. One morning in particular, I was feeling in a very silly mood. At one tent, I unzipped the tent flap and poked my head in to awaken my little moles. One popped out and said, "Stephanie! I don't smell anymore!" I suppose she had lost her sense of smell... but who could miss the next opportunity that I just took. My response: I turned around, stuck my round rump in the tent and let 'er rip. Then I said, "You do now!" With my mission accomplished, I zipped the tent shut and walked away to the sound of squealing girls.

One morning, after I had made my rounds, I went to the bathroom to make a deposit (some say 'take a dump', 'drop a deuce', 'drop the kids off at the pool', ' see the browns at the Superbowl', 'the morning meeting' etc.). As I was sitting on the can noticing the insufficiency of the lock, a poor unsuspecting girl opened the door. Here's the picture she saw: an exhausted woman with a sweatshirt pulled over her head pulled tight so that the mouth and nose are the only remaining visible features on her face. After she screamed and slammed the door shut, all I could do was laugh. When I finished up my business I came out, looked at the girl and said, "You may not want to go in there." I turned to her friend and stated, "I'm a morning person..." then with a wink and point, "...if you know what I mean." I crack myself up.

Because I was so busy during the day, I was hard pressed for time for personal grooming. One day, I didn't have time to take a shower. Let me tell you- by the end of the day, I was rank. I kept telling my tent mate how bad I smelled. "It's like something went under my arms and died!" I would say. She did not believe me. She only stated that it was normal to smell a little at camp. Well, while I was changing that night, I lifted my arms to take of my sweatshirt. She screamed from across the tent, "Stop farting!" I responded, "I told you I smelled- I just lifted my arms!" We fell into a fit of laughter and I went to take a shower.

I have countless other stories to tell, but I'm afraid people have been grossed out enough. I did have a good time and experienced true joy. I was able to bear my testimony in more ways than I thought imaginable. I experienced trials and triumphs. It was a great week.