I know,

I know- 2 posts in one day. Yes, I really am that pathetic. I just wanted to tell you a funny story because my last couple of posts have been lacking in the humor department and that's kind of a downer for me, just like gravity. You see, I probably read my blog more than anyone else. I re-read every post and critique and edit and especially laugh. I think I'm so funny! I totally get my sense of humor. As I'm sure everyone thinks their brand of funny is awesome- in my case, I'm right. I know I typed that all shamelessly, but that's because most of you don't know where I live. Those of you that know where I live- you know I would pacify you with good food and would silence your attacks on this utterly arrogant post.

So, the reason why I keep a journal is to document my incredibly stupid moments (I fill one journal a year), and to take notes at conference. I will not bore you with my conference notes, but I will tell you a funny story from said journal.

Saturday, May 20, 2006
Dear Diary,
Today I met a boy and I wondered if he noticed me, he took my breath away.... Wait a second! That's not my diary! That's poor Britney Spears' attempt at writing lyrics to a song. I listen to that CD way too much. Here's the real entry- I drove down to Santa Cruz to go to a workshop with my mom and to teach a cooking class with her. Before the cooking class I had an opportunity to attend two classes presented by other teachers.
The first class offered was a book list review. The class was taught by a high school English teacher. She gave us a list of good books to read. I was super excited! I love reading and it's hard for my to find books I like. So, I did take home the list and got crack-a-lackin' by borrowing the first four at my local library. I would like to tell you all four books were fabulous, but I am not a liar- I only exaggerate. List went in the trash.
The next class I attended was a woodworking class. I got to make an incomplete set of coasters and break two power saws. Needless to say, the teacher did not give me an 'A'. But, I did learn a valuable lesson- use the doe eyes when you break a man's power tools. The batting eyelashes scare him.
For the last class, I helped my mom teach a cooking class. I was in charge of teaching how to make The Super Smoothie. This is a smoothie I make for my family that is packed with veggies as well as fruits. My little way of stickin' it to the man. I taught the class, passed out the smoothie, told a joke and ended up with smoothie dripping down my face. Note to self: never tell a joke to a drinking customer.
After the workshop, I drove home to my dear sweet husband. I don't know why he's dear and sweet, judging by what I did to him next. This is what I wrote in my journal:
I drove home tonight and talked to Jimmy on the cell phone. I hung up with him before I got home. Then, I called back when I was parked in front of our apartment- but he didn't know I was home yet. I was talking away (he thought I was still driving, when I was really quietly unlocking the front door!) I got into the apartment and scared him to death! Then we started laughing so hard. The look on his face was soo funny!
I feel bad for that poor boy. I cannot tell you how many times I've hidden in the dark waiting for the right moment to scare him. Or poured a cup of ice water on him in the shower. Or my favorite- put pillows in the covers when he's in the shower and then jump out from the closet when he thinks I'm sleeping peacefully in bed. He knew I was crazy when he married me- but it was exciting back then. Poor, poor boy...


Kelly said...

I use to do this to Justin all the time, I guess I forgot how funny it can be. I'm not sure which is funnier, the smootie dripping out of your mouth, or the mental visual of Jimmy getting freaked out because you're "coming out of the closet".


Jennings said...

So this is Jeremy's wife Heather but i just wanted to tell you that you are so funny! My visits to your blog always end in a laugh. :) Jer was wondering when you guys were coming to Utah so we can all get together. Let us know!

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