From my husband's point of view:

If an object has been in the same place for 24 hours- it has diasappeared.
If an object is behind another larger object, it has also disappeared.

One thought from wife:
It's behind the milk.

I heart Regina Spektor

I also love this one by Lenka

Never pay sticker price

I refuse to defile my car with bumper stickers. When I am toting an issue (like Prop 8- vote YES!) I tape the sticker on the inside of the car window, so that when elections are over, I can just take it down. I just think bumper stickers are a little tacky- sorry if you're a friend of mine who has a bumper sticker. I do like the ones that are nondecript and simple, though. Like, I'm okay with the Tinkerbell ones that are small and just an outline of her in one color. I guess I just like it if the sticker looks more like a decal that could've come with the car. Please, do not get me started on the honor student bumper sticker... Anyway, I am not a total jerk- I do like reading other people's stickers and giggling. I saw one yesterday that said, "Jesus loves you, but I'm His favorite."

Some other funny sayings I've seen:

"TAKE REVENGE: Crap on a pigeon"

"Fat people are harder to kidnap"

"Don't tailgate me or I'll flick a booger on your windshield!"

"I BRAKE FOR... Oh crap, No Brakes!!!"

"REPUBLICANS vote Tuesday. DEMOCRATS vote Wednesday"

Yes, yes- oh, so funny. I would not, however want to broadcast any of that to the world.

With my cat-like speed and reflexes!

Growing up with all brothers, I found the many cat experiments they did to be amusing. You know the ones: cat with tape on the feet, cat wrapped in aluminum foil and cat with cut whiskers. (I said 'amusing'- not 'nice') When you stick tape to a cat's feet, they walk around trying to shake the tape off their paws, creating a 'dancing' effect. When one wraps a cat in foil, their back legs simply stop working and the cat lays down. Cats use their whiskers as balance and judgement. A cat's whiskers are as wide as it's body, so as to know what tight spaces they can fit through, and such. Well, I am sure you can imagine how much fun three evil little boys would have watching a cat run into walls, jumping for a tree branch just to completely miss and getting stuck between the washing machine and the wall.

I am a skinny person stuck inside a very sexy voluptuous body- I've got curves that make Lombard Street green with envy. I am essentially a cat with cut whiskers. I run into things all the time. Bruises populate a body that runs into walls and trips over folds in the rug. I have seen a space and thought, "why, I can fit through that tight space between the washer and the wall- no problem!" Flash forward to Jimmy pulling me out of the laundry room with brute force.

Just yesterday, I had an experience with my short, very attractive whiskers and just tipped over in the middle of the sidewalk. I was standing upright in one moment and laying flat on my back in the next. It was, I am sure, a sight to behold. Luckily, no scrapes or lacerations- I did get one bruise, though- on my thriving and overly exhibited ego.

Pucker Up!

Kaitlin has always loved boys...gee, I wonder where she got that from?? When she was a baby, she would turn on that smile for any boy that walked by. I have caught that little girl pouring over magazines and kissing the pictures of cute boys. She has already decided to marry our neighbor, Matthew (who's 14!), Simon from Spiderwick Chronicles, Edmond from The Chronicles of Narnia and now... Zachary from school. Well, at least she's going for boys more her age. Today, Kaitlin told me the story of what went down in the playground.

K: Mommy, Zachary kissed me.

M: Really? then what happened?

K: I said, "Hold on! Wait a minute! Kissing is not allowed at school, teacher says." But Mom, then I said, "But I still love you, Zachary."

M: Well, that's good. Kaitlin, you should really wait before you start kissing boys.

K: Mother, I love him!

Since when did I trade in my little girl for a teenager? Oh gosh, I am in trouble....

Regarding Jane

I was just thinking of this experience today and I wanted to share it.

I attend an annual camp for the teenage girls of our church as a leader. I love going because it's like my vacation from worldly cares. I also like acting like a complete fool. Well, this Summer, as I as preparing to leave for camp, I had a strong feeling to bring my mother-in-law's car. I brushed the feeling aside and asked for a ride to camp with another leader that would also be attending camp. On the morning of departure, I headed to my in-laws' house to pick up my sister-in-law. We would be driving together to meet our ride on the next leg of our journey. As I walked in to pick up Michelle, my mom-in-law told me that she felt I needed to take her car. I was very surprised because I had not told anyone about my prior feelings. I went in the bathroom to pray about it. I got affirmation that I needed to take her car to camp. When Michelle and I arrived at the meeting place, I caused quite a stir in the plans already set for drivers and passengers and such. Some people were upset with this last minute change of plans, but all was settled- I drove to camp. I had a great week. Everything was fun. The car stayed parked all week. There was no apparent reason why I would need the car that week. I had deduced that maybe I would've been involved in an accident or something cosmic... I don't know. The last day in camp was wonderful. One girls had wandered into the leader yurt (kinda like a modern day tee pee) just to talk. This is my favorite part of being a leader. I just love it when they come in and talk. I love to get to know the girls. This girl, I'll call her Jane, had visited camp previous years as a friend of another camper. Jane is not a member of the LDS faith. She loves camp and has a great attitude while she's there. I love Jane. We have a very special relationship. Every time we talk, it's always so philosophical. I am constantly refreshed with her perspective on things. We are always so deep in conversation that other people tend to get bored around us. It seems that she opens up a part of my brain that is dusty and gets out her feather duster to wipe off all the thoughts that are only pulled out for her. She's brilliant and wise beyond her years. Anyway, when Jane came in to talk to me, we got on all the taboo subjects that are only normal for us to talk about. Abortion, gay marriage, politics, religion. The reason why we can talk about these things is because of the level of respect we share for one another. Sometimes we agree and sometimes we agree to disagree. Either way, there is never animosity. as we got on the subject of religion I had mentioned how amazing the Book of Mormon is to me. Jane asked why. I explained that it is a history of the people in Central America. Because she is planning on being a history professor, she was intrigued by this. Jane had always thought Joseph Smith wrote the book. We talked about the translation process and the hardships Joseph fought to bring the translation to pass. At this point, another leader came into the yurt, who just happened to be a gospel doctrine teacher. We ended up sharing the stories of the Book of Mormon with Jane up until the point when Lehi's family sails to the Americas. Jane was fascinated and asked,"Where can I get one of those books?" We promised to get her one as soon as possible. I have numerous blue Books of Mormon at home, just waiting to go out into the world, but why would anyone bring a Book of Mormon for giveaway at a church camp? The other leader and I searched the camp high and low all night for a spare book, but to no avail. Jane would eagerly approach almost every hour asking if we had found one yet. I felt like I was failing her. Why present such a glorious thing and not follow through? I went to be that night with a prayer in my heart to help Jane. The next morning, all campers rose early to pack up and go home. All the tents were down and cars filled to the brim. As I got in my mother-in-law's car, I pulled out the map from in between the seats. Under the map was a new hard cover Book of Mormon. I was astonished to see it seemingly smiling up at me. I grabbed the book and wrote a message in the cover. The other leader did the same. As everyone was getting ready to load the buses, I found Jane and sat down to talk to her. As I pulled out the Book of Mormon, she started laughing and was so excited that I had finally found one just for her. Jane was most excited by the foot notes because it was 'just like a history book', she said. I am so grateful that I was able to share this precious book with Jane. I am grateful that I followed the promptings to bring my mother-in-law's car to camp. I just wish I was a little more in tune so I could have just brought the book and not a whole car! Either way, I am so happy that I was able to share some history with my dear friend Jane.

Buyer's remorse...

...or lack thereof. I'm catering a wedding this weekend. All the shopping is done. Yesterday, I drove around two counties like a mad woman buying everything needed for the event. This morning, our household received an ominous call from a very serious sounding man.
"Stephanie Graham?"
"Yes?" I reply trying to hide my shaky voice.
"Have you been shopping quite a bit lately?"
What?!! "Did Jimmy put you up to this?" I swear, he promised he wouldn't be jealous of Venus and Serena... it's not like they slept on his side of the bed...
The serious man interrupts my thoughts, "Ma'am?" Since when am I old enough to be called ma'am? "Ma'am?"
"Oh, sorry! Yes, sir?"
"Stephanie Graham, have you been shopping at Costco, Smart & Final, Safeway, Chevron, Trader Joe's, Ross and Nob Hill in the past 24 hours?"
"Uhhh... yeah..."
"All in one day?"
"Uhhh... yeah..."
"You're amazing!" (He didn't really say that, but I'd like to think that I am amazing.)
He actually said, "Thank you for your time, ma'am. Have a nice day."
Not fair! Not fair! Not fair!- I have a mysterious man calling me about my strange purchases and he calls me ma'am, the purchases are at grocery stores and a gas station and he doesn't even mention how spectacular I am! Customer service in this day and age are seriously going down the drain.

Helloooo ladies...

I will post again with the details of the 'Time Out for Women' conference that I attended this weekend. But, for now, I thought I would show you the reason why I was born in these last days (and I thought it was because of epidurals...)

These are the new shoes I bought at Nordstrom's. Above is a picture of the girls. I have named them Venus and Serena. Venus, because the Goddess of Love. Serena, because the famous tennis player, Venus, has a sister named Serena.

Venus=Goddess of Love

Serena= Temptress of the Night

How can you go wrong with five inch, snake skin, spike heels?? (other than falling down a flight of stairs from an abnormal height... the things we do for high fashion) I shall sleep with the girls tonight- I already ironed clothes in them, it's time to take our relationship to the next level.

Happy Birthday Kaitlin!

Kaitlin took this picture all by herself!!!

Kaitlin turns 5 years old today! I can't believe she's no longer a toddler. I now have a kid! I have countless memories of my little girl. Here are a few that make me smile:

• Sometimes I would walk into Kaitlin's room and a mural on the wall using the contents of her diaper as the medium. Needless to say, she stopped taking naps after that.


• Kaitlin would empty out her drawers and hide her clothes in corners all over the house for safe keeping.


• At the local jump house she ran away and locked herself in an office. She couldn't get out because the key was inside with her. The owners had to disassemble the door to get her out.


• Kaitlin got her head stuck in between the railings at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Because of Kaitlin, they had to rebuild their entire banister.


• The first week we lived up in the hills, she visited the neighbors that live 3/4 mile away. We couldn't find her anywhere! The neighbors called- can you imagine my embarassment?


• The neighbors from previous story came home one day to Kaitlin in their living room. Yes, she invited herself into their house when they weren't home and welcomed them home. Embarassed by that one too.


• I caught Kaitlin dipping a cup into the toilet to quench her thirst.

I have so many wonderful and sweet memories of my little girl. She's got a great sense of humor and great taste in music. She would rather read than watch a movie. I just love being around Kaitlin. I am so grateful that I am able to be her mother. She teaches me so much.

I love you Kaitlin, Happy 5th Birthday!!!!

First day of Preschool!

My beautiful girl is at preschool today... she's growing up so fast, I feel like she'll be married tomorrow!

Against my will (and the dogs' by the looks of it) Kaitlin insisted on a 'first day of school' picture with the dogs. We are not contesting who's in charge in this household...

Break out the sparkling cider!

I finished Breaking Dawn in less than 14 hours!!! I have a few issues... but I don't want to mention anything that would spoil the book... call me, we'll talk! It was my favorite book of the saga. I am a sucker for the endings. The Last Battle was my favorite book from the Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter's seventh year was the best and so on and so forth. I'm still on a last book high.... aaahhhhh!!!!!