Curse of the auction...

As part of the many things I've signed up for... being the chair of the auction committee is one of them. I don't what it is about this auction, but I will list for you the things that have happened to me or my co-chair, Nancy, since our assent to take over the throne (s):

• I fell, injuring my knee, resulting in crutches for four months
• Nancy's daughter broke her leg with the necessity of a hip to ankle cast and a wheelchair
• I broke a tooth with lots of heavy dental work to follow
• Nancy's husband got a terrible flu bug three times in one month
• Kaitlin was sent home from school on the brink of an ER visit with a ridiculously high fever
• Jimmy's Grandmother passed away
• The car breaks went out the same day as the oil filter... lots of squealing tires and burning oil smell. We all know noise or smell = $ in car speak
• I lost my precious iPod
• Nancy got stuck in New York because of a heavy snowstorm for almost a week
• I am breaking out in a mysterious and severely itchy rash that started on the palms of my hands and has now spread to the rest of my body

And yesterday? Well, friends let me tell you a story...

I stayed home from church because I was feeling burned out and on the verge of ill (Kate was sick, too) when Nancy called me at 10:30am. I answered the phone only to hear a terrible, earsplitting high pitched squeal from my phone. Because of the noise, Nancy and I decided to hang up so I could return the call on my cell phone.

Two problems with this solution. One, my cell phone does not work at our house and the second, Jimmy had the car with my cell phone (and purse) in it. So, being the resourceful lady that I am, I stood on a chair and used Jimmy's phone to call back. We had many conversations that started with salutations and never got to the meat and potatoes because of bad reception.

Poor Kaitlin was pulled out of bed to the tune of, "we have to go right now! It's important!" So important, that I was wearing this: unwashed hair piled on top of my head, sweatpants, mismatched hoodie, flip flops and no bra. Now, I know that image is stuck in your mind- have fun with it.

Kaitlin looked like a mini-Stephanie with her hair also askew and jim jams on her little body. Because I was only driving down the hill to talk, there was no need to change... right? Haahaa, that was laughable of me, huh? When I was having the conversation with Nancy, Jimmy's phone kept beeping at me. Now, I know what my cell phone is trying to tell me when it beeps. Apparently, Jimmy's speaks the same language. It was cell phone talk for, "I'm about to die, I'm about to die, I'm abou-" silence. Nice. And so on to the in-laws to use the land line. Fortunately for me, I did not get pulled over, because how I would explain my predicament?! I am sure that once I started with, "My grandma died and I went to the funeral yesterday and then I was so tired, Jimmy took the car and I have the auction, and I, I'm sorry about my hair, hopefully I don't smell too bad, I usually dress my child before leaving the house..." and so on and so forth. Good thing the curse of the auction hasn't spread to moving violations. I'll keep you posted how that works out.

Until then, heed my sage advice for mothers embarking on school aged parenthood: never show up to a meeting and send treats in when asked- that's it.

Fidelity

I am cheating on blogger with facebook... but don't tell facebook that I've been flirting with twitter and just winked at formspring. I am telling you- between all these forms of networking, someone is bound to get sick of me. Although, judging by my recent lack of posts, it's not you. BUT... if you want the opportunity to find out (nearly) anything about me,

just ask on formspring.

You can't take me anywhere....

Goodness Gracious! My Stephanitus* is returning with a vengance... and mutation. Just last week I drove Jimmy's car car to go grocery shopping and it beat me up. I swear, if I didn't give it the evil eye, yours truly would be stuck at the bottom of SF bay with cement shoes. Instead of the offending footwear, I came home with a bruise on my arm that was just begging for a, "he pushed me down the stairs" comment. As sick as my sense of humor is sometimes, I did not have the guts to do that.

While at a regional camp meeting with the girls, I gave into the hankering for a starburst (fruit punch flavored, you understand) and came out of the equation with a broken tooth. Niiice. Fortunately for my friends, the broken tooth made it difficult for talking because it just kept scratching my tongue. I bet they've never heard me be such a good listener before.
So, after a long and painful dentist visit, I find out that I will be getting a gold crown... haahaa! Who's car is gonna bully me now with my new grill?!


*Stephanitus- the tendency to hit your elbow on everything. I was given this diagnosis in high school by dear brother, Jimboette.

Slacker

Looks like I need to start folding some laundry...

Good thing Jimmy is not a politician

That boy has so many "...uh..." moments. Example?

After helping me unload groceries and making note of what I bought: "You got meat and potatoes... it's Stephanie's perfect trifecta!...uh...if you add another thing."

When driving him home from a hard day at work once: "Ahhh.... no more work, no more school, more more teachers' dirty loo...uh.... no more books..."

I just love how he trails off! It reminds me of Tommy Boy (you're the one with the shell on it...) because it takes him longer than anyone else to realize he's got it all wrong. We laugh so hard at Jimmy's little cliche slip-ups. In our household, it's usually Jimmy's flubs that become the new cliche. You know, everything is just "so good, so far..." On the clip below, please note 0:32 & 1:54... that's Jimmy.

Excuses, excuses...

I am getting kind of sick of those chicks topping my blog from the last post, so I suppose I'll write something...
There is so much going on in our lives right now.
Chair of school fundraiser with $50,000 budget- check!
Jimmy going to school full time- of course!
Teaching seminary every morning- you've got it!
Make dinner, treat, costume, diorama- I'll see your diorama and raise you a solar system!

Needless to say, my house is in shambles, I'm losing my brain (and my iPod... sad, I know.), and I only see my husband over leftovers or pasta-roni, but I am truly happy. When there is so much to be done it is really difficult to complain. I still have plenty of time to gossip, though.

So, even though we are facing such demanding schedules- I wouldn't have it any other way.


p.s. I just want to let you all know that my writing has not only been scant in blogging, but in facebook statuses as well. It seems that Twitter has been my media of choice. I can be snarky as I please because my (one-literally) follower doesn't judge me...
Here's a sampling:

• Judging by the tailored ads on hulu, I watch tv shows made for a 16 yr old girl...
• Only half way through X-mad vacation... anyone want a 7 yr old?
• X-mas... I suppose that was a Freudian slip.
• Yes, I'm doing it. Going out in public, on a weekday wearing bright red lipstick. Go ahead, say it: "oh, you rebel, you..."
• rule#1 in my car: DO NOT change the radio if a Beatles song is on... unless you would like to go home with a stump for a hand.
• Am I going on the naughty list for wanting to skip the elementary school performance today?
• It's going to be a bad day... my seminary kids can attest to that. Make a wide berth for USS Stephanie today- for the good of life and limb.
• What kind of person texts while riding a bike?! Oh yeah, the idiot kind...
• Seminary kids were a tad snarky today... it pains me to teach kids so much like me.
  

Papa's got a brand new Caddy

Poor Estelle didn't stand a chance against this young buck:

Fortunately, we bought ours without the chicks. Although the new Cadillac is a womanizer, I wouldn't stand for those two under our roof- or the moon roof in the car. (Nice segway, no?) I am excited for Jimmy to FINALLY have a nice car... not like any of the crap wagons he's had to drive in the past.
We are still debating what to name the newcomer to our family. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Goodbye to an OLD friend

Jimmy and I took our old car, Estelle, to the pick n' pull yesterday.
Poor old lady barely made it! Just a block, ONE block, away from the junk yard, the car wheezed her last breath... and then, a surprise! She kicked back into to gear to roll into the lot. When Jimmy parked the old mare, I swear, she muttered a curse as her last words. Upon entering the office, I knew we would have to maybe take less $ because poor Estelle would not perform. After doing all the paper work, the worker asked us to drive up to the office for inspection. Yikes! We went to go start the car... the engine would not turn over. I would just like to inform you that it was pouring rain during this whole tale (just so you could understand my suffering).
I walked very slowly back to the office in hopes that the engine would cool down enough to start. I peeked my head into the office and told the clerk we just had to, "empty out the trash".

The "trash" was minuscule pieces of paper and invisible dust to buy more time.
Jimmy took.his.time.
I sat in my car playing with my new iPod.
Finally, Estelle grunted into starting and Jimmy drove her the few feet to the designated inspection spot. The clerk came out and drew all over the car. Poor Estelle had never had a tattoo before, but she is feisty enough to pull it off. The office cut us a check and sent us on our merry way. In fear of the pick n' pull chasing us down to take back the check, we peeled out of the parking lot at near warp speed. So quickly, in fact, that we didn't get to say our sweet goodbyes to a car that served us well. So in hopes of redeeming my poor behavior, I write this post to honor sweet Estelle.
May she rest in peace.

Santa was good to me

Even if he was a few days late and masked himself as my bank...



Look what I got as a gift from my bank today!:

an iPod touch!!!

I bet you wish you were me right about now.

An unexpected Up

Tonight while I was finishing up a scarf I was crocheting for my niece, Kaitlin came in the room inquiring to what I was doing. I showed her the scarf and made mention of the fact that I was using leftover yarn from a blanket I had started making when I found out we were expecting her. The reason I never gave Kaitlin this blanket was because I made the first row so long that is was HUGE. I have just never gotten around to making it smaller. It was nice to take it out and wrap it around my sweet girl four times (I told you it was huge) and tell her all about why I made the blanket in the first place. I told Kaitlin of what I thought about when I was working on the blanket- how we would someday sing together and read together. That I would take her to school and piano lessons. I went on and on about the fantasies I had while preparing for her to join our family. What happened next was so precious and unexpected. My darling Kaitlin turned around with big tears in her eyes and said, "I didn't know you loved me that much back then." As I pulled her into a large hug, she just kept saying, "I love you, too!" and smothering me with kisses.What a surprise! I could not get over how touched she was by something so simple to me. It was sweet affirmation that what may seem like small moments are really the ones that are most important.

Now the true miracle? ... if I can remember this the next time she drives me IN-SANE. Parenting has it's ups and downs... the ups are so worth the downs.

April would be proud

I was out shopping at the local thrift store.

I have been looking for a couch with good bones to practice reupholstering on...

along came this beauty!

I love it! I talked the price down from $40 to $10.

Normally I am so non-confrontational, but bartering was fun.

Happy Christmas to me!

Sadly,

we did not make the cut for the Food Network audition. I wouldn't have it any other way, though. I would much rather be myself and not be selected than to be someone else and make it. Regardless of the outcome, it was a fulfilling, exciting and special experience for me. Thanks, April for coming with me and being so awesome!

Good news is this:
Because we still have a great idea that is unused, we would like to pass it on to you. We will be opening the restaurant "Twig" for one night in January or February. Tickets will be available for purchase that will cover a three course menu. If you are interested in being a part of this fun night, let me know- you can be on our VIP guest list!

We could be stars!

We did it! April and I tried out for a reality show yesterday!!!

Hence, the poll on the sidebar.

The show is called 24 hr Restaurant Battle on the Food Network. If we get on the show, I would do the cooking, April would do the decorating... folks, how could we not win?!

Here's a rundown of the day:

4:15am: wake up and drag Jimmy & Kaitlin to my MIL's to sleep while I teach Seminary. (the life of one car is green, but sometimes inconvenient)

5:50am-6:40am: Teach Seminary and beg kids to pray for me during the day. May have said at one point, "I know you guys may surprised that a fat chick would try to get on tv, but I am the funny fat one... and what would Goonies be without Chunk?!"

6:45am-7:30: Get Kate ready for school and send her off with a fat kiss. Start to get beautified, only to realize that I left my underpants at home... had to squeeze into my mother-in-law's panties. She is half my size. Cue scary mental picture and ashamed laughter.

8:23: freak out and threaten to pee my all too tight underpants.

8:26: hop in April's car for a fun and nervous ride into the city.

10:15: arrive at hotel and get into line behind (only 2!!!) other groups. I neglected to see the holding room that everyone was waiting in. The holding room was filled with lots of black/suit clad contestants. April and I were the only ones wearing any color (go yellow!)

11:15: got called in to the interview...

11:16-11:19: talked with the casting agent about how awesome (and humble, of course) we really are. Made an impression, I think. She fawned over April's handmade jewelry and loved our yellow. We answered questions about why, how and if we could compete on the show. At one point the interviewer asked April how much experience she had in the restaurant biz and April replied, "None." The interviewer did a double take and April's sparkle in the eye led to, "...but I know I would be good at it!" It was perfect comedic timing. I felt like the banter we had was like a well written play. We came in with a smile a left with a giggle. We were all us.

The rest of the day: floated on a cloud through the Mission district, thrift shop, BiRite Creamery, Marshall's and (my mother ship) Ross.

I am so happy with how it went. I have no regrets over anything I said or did (except for forgetting my underwear... who knows maybe too small panties are lucky). I truly felt the support of everyone that thought of us during the day... thanks all!

p.s.- I will update if we get a call back. Expect lots of exclamation marks...

Campaigning...

For reasons I will share with you all later in what promises to be a great post...

I would love for you to vote on the poll on this here blog. The deadline is next week, where I will reveal why it's there. You may now take the time to go ahead and sit on the edge of your seat.

Thinking it's about time to post Halloween pictures...

I know, I know, it's almost Christmas...Dude, don't judge.

Little Red Riding Hood!

Detailed photo:
and a cheesetastic one:

Unfortunately, there are no pictures of Jimmy dressed up as Teen Wolf and me as Granny. That's only because my idea never came to fruition on account of tempermental husband and shrieking to 'leave now!' daughter. Maybe we'll have matching costumes next year.

"Maybe" as in:
kid: "Mom can I have Timmy over for dinner tonight?"
mom: looks in the fridge to find three eggs and a wilted bag of lettuce "Maybe..."

p.s.- I HATE blogger right now... it's not letting me load my huge smatter of pictures.

A little bit of gratitude... just in time for Thanksgiving

After being on crutches for so long, it has been really frustrating. I do have to admit that I have been pleasantly surprised with the specturm of people out there. Sometimes (yesterday), I will be going into a store and the person directly in front of me will neglect to hold the door open and it will slam in my face. Then I struggle to reach the handle while still holding the crutches in the crook of my arm... interesting picture, I'm sure. But then, almost immediately following a person's total disregard an onlooker will give the manner-less a dirty look and run to hold open the door.

It's pretty funny to see different people's reaction to the crutches. Some people ignore, others stare (mostly kids), even a few observers have a look of pity. Today, I had a truly touching experience. Kaitlin and I went to WalMart to buy some holiday supplies. Kaitlin pushed the cart down the aisles, zig zagging her way through crowds and bumping into more than a few fellow customers. After my patience and budget had run out (both very thin) I stood in line just thinking about the difficulty in which I would have trying to get everything up on the conveyor belt. Literally, just as I was thinking that thought, the woman in front of me just started unloading my cart for me. The gratitude in my heart was bigger than it's capacity, I'm sure! What touched me so, was that the sweet woman did me a favor unbidden, with a smile and so selflessly. I thanked her profusely.

Being on crutches has been a pain at times, but being able to experience small acts of kindness has been a true gift.

I believe in signs...

especially when there are four succesive signs working in conjunction with one another.
Four signs from the universe of why I should not have purchased an oreo cookie shake at the drive thru when getting Kaitlin* lunch:

1.) The cosmic way in which the attendant forgot to make the oreo shake and held up the entire lunch traffic behind me while I waited
2.) The kismet of a broken straw realized after leaving the window
3.) The karma of spilling a shake while trying to drink without a straw (all over a brand new just-took-off-the-tag-today shirt from Nordstrom)
4.) The serendipity of poking a hole in the bottom of the cup because of a hidden earring in the cup holder


*don't judge I got the apples and milk instead of fries and soda.... I, however, got a milk shake.

b.o.r.e.d.

I was so bored today that I actually did a google image search of myself (give it a try- it's fun!) And guess which picture was the ONLY picture I could find of myself on google?!?!

THIS ONE!:

I think I need to just start randomly posting fabulous pictures of myself with plenty of captions with my name. Good news... another image popped up, that of a smokin' hot Wentworth Miller. I really wouldn't mind coming back as him in another life.
Here's what I look like in real life:

Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham Stephanie Graham... you get the picture...

"Buckle Up!"...

would have been the perfect advice to me as I approached this new job of teaching seminary to high school students. It has been a bumpy ride. There are days when I feel like I am really getting somewhere (well as far as you can get at 5:50 am). And then there are days when I feel like I am crawling out of a crater where my lesson just bombed. I swear, when I drive away fom the church sometimes I can see a mushroom cloud in the rear view mirror.

Yesterday was a day from the basement... today was nearly opposite. Teaching teenagers is such a roller coaster of a ride! If just one kid is in a bad enough mood, it upsets the very fragile atmosphere. The whole spirit of the lesson can be chucked out the window at a single comment. Sometimes I think that I am too young to be teaching and other days I feel ancient. With all feeling involved in this calling, I have felt the FULL spectrum.

Every day you talk to me about seminary, those kids are different. You'd think that I was teaching several classes on a rotation! Inspiration, frustration, humility, pride, energy, exhaustion... all feelings of a seminary teacher. I do have to say that I have been truly blessed to be where I am, doing what I am doing and learning from these kids. They live in an ever changing world. Hopefully, I can still hold on tight and be happy when the ride's over.

p.s. We learned about John Tanner today- anyone heard of him? He is an inspiring man from church history that truly was the spirit of generosity and sacrifice.

here's an article about him too: The John Tanner Family

To my husband: my sincerest apologies

Last night, as I was brushing my teeth I heard a loud shriek. Hmmm... I wonder, when did I adopt a teenage girl? As I came out of the bathroom I made the realization that it was not, in fact, a young woman, but my burly husband that let out that screech. Apparently, there was a mouse hidden under a layer of aluminum foil inside a bin in the office. The bin that Jimmy was getting ready to load for the following morning (a seminary breakfast... we'll get into that later... but I digress).
The poor boy was seconds away from fulfilling the cliche of standing on a chair. I walked into the office with Jimmy cowering behind me. Well, maybe not so much cowering, as shoving me in front of him to protect the honor of my significant other. I have to admit, I heard a little rustling of the foil when I got closer. Instead of shrieking, I excitedly say, "Let's catch it! Grab the lid, we'll put it outside." Now, the bin was clear, so I knew I could put on the lid and shake the mouse around a little bit to get a good look. Can you tell I grew up with brothers? (Haahaaa... and Jimmy with sisters...)
After some finagling, I finally got Jimmy to agree and he stood back as I plopped the lid onto the bin. We carried the bin outside and carefully removed the lid to rid the bin of it's contents. I started with the things on top- a bag of paper plates, some stray napkins and a bon appetit magazine among other things (don't ask me how the magazine got in there because I have no clue). As I peeled back the layers in the plastic bin, I was getting to the bottom of the bin and the rodent's hiding spot. While I am working so bravely to protect our sleeping daughter from a rabid animal bite, Jimmy is huddled inside watching from the doorway. When I almost reach the bottom, my man gets courageous. He comes out and plops the lid back on to give the mouse a good shake. I look at the boy perplexed and he just shrugs, "I thought I could make it dizzy."
Haahaaa, "Why? so it could jump all crazy crooked on me?!"
Jimmy retreated to his job of holding up the door frame. Because I didn't want Jimmy to take credit for shaking the mouse out of the aluminum foil, I peered into to the bin and gave it a good shake myself. To the tune of my husband's raised eyebrows, I reached down into the bin to grab the foil in one swift movement. I then waited for the backlash of an angry, dizzy mouse to attack. But what do you know? Underneath the foil was... nothing.
Haahaa! It turns out that the foil was only rubbing up against the edge of the bin when we walked near it, making a little rustling noise. Jimmy exhaled in relief and said, "You're not going to tell anyone about this, right?"