Just another thing in the sitcom I call life...

Every Tuesday night is sacred. On Tuesdays, I leave my family to spend time doing something that is dear to me. Something that is priceless and irreplaceable. I go watch a tv show. That may not seem to match the descriptors I just stated, but you see, this show is a little program called, "Gilmore Girls". And I watch this show religiously with a group of girlfriends that are just as wonderful as each episode we watch. 

Last night during the show, I had to go to the bathroom sooooo bad. I've been drinking over 100 oz of water a day, you know. I got up without interrupting the show, just trying to be discreet. As I went into the restroom the door shut behind me and I raced to the toilet. I had to go bad. Really bad. While I am mid-stream, I hear a creak and the door starts opening slowly. Awww, crap! (Not #2, oh darn) well, it wasn't really a big deal. It's late at night, it's just us girls, I'm not shy about my body. But wait! It's not just us girls! The hostess' husband has an office right.next.to.the.bathroom. And he was coming out!!! So, I - sitting on the can, trying to be unobtrusive- yell, "don't come in!I'm going potty! My pants are down!"  

And I just hear laughter from the other room. The characters in the show must've said something hilarious...

Ghettotastic

I have been driving Kate to downtown Vallejo twice a week for school. The program is great, if far away... 

The progression of emotion driving through Vallejo has been interesting. What used to make me nervous now leaves me charmed. Like, "How charming it is that that store has a hand painted sign? They were able to paint right around the bullet hole to make it part of the art." Or, "I'm glad that man with a sleeping bag wrapped around him is walking around, he must be cozy." 

Also, I have never visited a Subway sandwich shop with bullet proof glass between myself and the sandwich technician... That's new. 

It's been an experience. Not bad, as my post may lead you to believe. It's actually been quite eye opening. In all seriousness, I have found some downright wonderful shops- I did have to walk through break dancers to get to one shop today- a little inconvenient, I know. But, how cool is that? People still breakdance?? In all honesty, I have sincerely enjoyed the time I've spent jumping feet first into a community that I usually try to avoid. I have found the cheapest thrift shops, interesting furniture stores and best down home cooking I've had in a long time. I'm admitting it- downtown Vallejo is not half bad. I think it helps that fat people are harder to kidnap...

I love to see the temple

This past week, the sister teaching Relief Society called and asked if Kate and I could sing "I love to see the temple" for the closing song in RS. I happily said yes. She then asked if I could find the accompanist as well. Of course, I agreed. 

Well, even though it was just a few days ago that she asked, I completely forgot! In fact, I was blissfully unaware that I was singing and had never even told Kate about it when the teacher reminded me between sacrament meeting and Sunday school. But I didn't say that to her- oh, no... I just nodded and smiled. 

Then, once that sister walked away, I walk/ran as fast as was appropriate for a lady in heels and the church of The Lord to do. I grabbed Kate from class and took her to a supply closet where we practiced. Her in bewilderment, me in urgency. After a few times through, I realized that we maybe couldn't pull this off a Capella. I had Kate wait in the closet and grabbed a talented pianist to play for us. We ended up practicing a few times- in between my apologies to my daughter and my accompanist. But, we pulled it off. It sounded wonderful and I was brought right back to this day. 

Kate's twelfth birthday when she chose to attend the temple on her birthday. It was a special day for our whole family. The spirit was tangible. The temple presidency met with us and did temple work with us! That same temple president spoke about our sweet Kate at a neighboring stake's conference. What was said to us before our session was this: "Kate, there has been a special spirit this whole week and especially this morning in the temple. It's because the Savior is happy that you made this choice. He is very pleased with your actions and we all get to witness that!" 

This was a special day for our family and I am so glad we all got to go. 

Oops...

Well, Halloween was great. 

See?

I had a clown and Belle and monk to share it with. The party we went to was epic. Epic, I tell you. Fire dancer, man on stilts, the baboon pictured above, a haunted hay ride, a giant movie screen playing Hocus Pocus, popcorn, treats... 

But the most epic thing of all:

I was talking to two women. 

I looked at one in her business suit, coiffed hair, red lipstick, big earrings and said, "Let me guess- you're dressed as Hilary Clinton?" She just stared at me for a half beat then responded, "I'm not wearing a costume." 

Niiiice...

Paranormal Activity

My friends and I went on a city ghost tour last night. When we arrived at our meeting location and the your guides broke out their equipment, I was nervous. I wasn't sure if it was such a good idea to be searching for spirits. I've never been skeptical of paranormal activity. I believe in ghosts. I believe in an afterlife. Because of that belief, my mind started running a little wild.

And then our guide started telling stories. She was a fabulous historian. Hearing stories of people that once lived seemed respectful. And paying homage to those that once had passion on this earth made me introspective. Particular stories made me want to reach out and speak to these people. Rather than be spooked out, I had great sorrow. Sorrow for their losses and unfortunate end. At points in the tour, I actually wanted to stand up and talk about the plan of salvation! I wanted to share my testimony of peace, love and eternal life. That to really speak to people in another realm all you have to do is to pray. We are each given the gift of personal revelation- what an amazing thing! Now, I know if I had done that I would look like the crazy eccentric one in a group full of ghost hunters.  I highly recommend the tour, solely for the historical aspect. I was in rapt attention. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to experience a real strengthening of my testimony. To know where I stand in this earthly life and where I can stand in the next. 

P.S. Because going on a ghost tour is not spooky enough, we went to the cemetery afterwards. It was scary (although humbling) to walk among graves at midnight. But it got me to be thoughtful and eventually peaceful thinking of what these people were passionate about and how much they loved. Strange as it may seem, the night made me want to delve into genealogy. After I am done screaming and peeing my pants a little. 

It's moments like these that make me realize I need a reality show

I provide a dinner delivery service to different families each week. One such family lives at the end of a quaint little lane in a quiet area of town. I switched cars with Jimmy this week for baby car seat issues. When I made a delivery in his car to the sleepy little street, I accidentally pressed the key fob and set off the alarm. It was quite the scene. 

Picture this:

-car alarm blaring

-Stephanie frantically pressing the red button with no response

-car continues to screech, disturbing the peace, causing neighbors to point and stare

-Stephanie gets out of the car and points the key fob at the car while pressing red button very deliberately at the mechanical beast

-a beat

-Stephanie realizes that she has been pointing the Honda key fob at the car while trying to stop the alarm

-Stephanie is driving the Cadillac 

The gun show

I went into the library in the morning to check out the facilities because of a catering gig I had later in the day. 

Somehow, I made my way to the circulation desk and paid my fines. You guys- I never have fines on my card. Never. But when Vivy was a newborn, we had a long stretch between book returns. Juding by my FIFTY dollar fine, it was a stretch that should have been til Vivy was college bound! It was a humbling surprise when I asked the amount I owed. Then I may have mentioned to the librarian that she probably sees a lot of people carrying book fine guilt. To which she added a grin and nod. After paying my hefty fine, I noticed a sign for story time. Having never taken Vivy to the library story time, I thought it would be fun to pop in. Well, it was a story time, alright. For babies. Little babies. I was just about to turn and leave when Vivy saw the fun going on and pitched a fit. I stayed. I did all the activities. For little babies. Less than 25 lb babies. Little babies that do not struggle to break free when you "rock in a tree top". Little babies that can be lifted into the air each time the sing says "baby" without their adult grunting. Little babies that lie still on the floor when you are supposed to bend over and tickle their toes. 

Halfway through the story time, parents were no longer looking at the story teller. Nope. They were looking at my attempt to tame the beast. After thirty minutes enduring the embarrassment that comes with tickling under a toddler's chin that attempts to bite repeatedly, the story time finally ended. I am not kidding when I say I was not the only parent to breathe a sigh of relief. I kept thinking, "these newbie parents have no idea what they're in for..." I may not have had a quiet bonding experience with a precious newborn, but no one can rival the arm workout I got today. 

Kate's birthday trip

Because no trip is complete without Penny Ice Creamery!

Juliette is smiling because she's about to go on her first roller coaster ride!

Juliette looks like she may not have liked it...

But the Ferris wheel is always a good idea.

And the carousel- the brass rings were fabulous. 

Had to finish the day at a park overlooking the boardwalk where we also witnessed couples yoga, which was super crunchy and super awesome. 

Drive in Holy Places

Another funny story from driving:

When the party I was driving got back in the car after their final stop, they were laughing about something they had started discussing over dinner. I heard a buzz word load and clear, "Mormons" and started to listen more carefully. I found that eavesdropping wasn't necessary due to the fact they asked me if I had ever heard of the term they were talking about. Of course, I had never heard of it. But the tone being used made me think that I may not want to know the details...

I suppose my desire to not know was not more obvious because the group proceeded to explain to me a practice 'held by Mormons' that was completely foreign to me. I cocked one eyebrow and said, "What Mormon do you know that has confirmed this as fact?"

They just giggled and said there had been studies proving it. The whole exchange was goofy (they were tipsy) and goid natured. 

I gave them a look of disbelief. A beat. And then, "Are YOU a Mormon?!"

"Yes I am!" I yelled loud and clear. 

The group then howled in laughter. 

One if the woman mentioned, "I have a friend that's a Mormon and she told me it was true, but I shouldn't have believed her because she drinks more than I do!!!"

Hmmm....

Maybe she wasn't a great source?  

Your driver for the day

So, lately I've been doing some wine tours through a concierge service I chef through and it's been a blast! 

I have a great time picking up tourists and showing them the valley I love so dearly. 

Today for my drive, the clients were raving about some English muffins they had when they previously visited Napa.

 I cocked one eyebrow and said, "you mean the Model Bakery English muffins?"

"Yes!!!" They exclaimed.

I then offered to drive to the bakery while the clients were at a wine tasting because the bakery sells out early due to popular demand and a recent segment on Food Network highlighting this baked good. 

When I arrived at Model Bakery I was confronted by a full case of English muffins. Thank goodness they hadn't sold out! Approaching the counter to order, I was confident because of my get-there-before-they-sold-out skills. 

"Eight English muffins, please." I asked with great courtesy.

The woman behind the counter then responded, "there's a six muffin limit."

With my confidence waning just a tad, I repeated, "eight English muffins, please." 

She looked at me, blinked, and gave me the same answer. 

Then I started semi-pleading with stories about how I am driving for people from out of town and that I had to bring eight and that there were right people and that they were from out of town- basically repeating myself over and over while my voice was getting progressively higher. 

I could tell from the Clark's silence that I was not getting anywhere...

Then, with a glint in my eye, I pawed the tip jar and said, "What a lovely tip jar."

Folks, I had stooped so low. So very low. 

While I was inwardly berating myself for the tactic, the woman behind the counter brightened and stuffed two extra muffins in my bag. 

I thought that bribery stuff only worked in the movies! 

On my way back to the vehicle I paused mid walk and thought, "it would probably be pushing it to go back and get one for myself..."

I can do hard things

It's not hard to avoid sugar at a big birthday party surrounded by cake. Mostly because I am also surrounded by people who know my goal of avoiding sugar until Thanksgiving. (No sugar on Halloween, crazy, right?!) It's when everyone leaves the birthday party at our house and I am left to face this:

RIGHT?!
I do have to say, I've been doing well having this decadent, rich and moist cake sharing my home. Walking past it everyday... I swear it screams my name when I don't notice it waving at me. And the truffles. The TRUFFLES. Birthday cake and chocolate mint. Drool...
But I am strong. And I can do hard things.

Too bad I'm not a professor...

Because that would be a good reason for me being so absent minded.


Tonight- I did it again...
I RSVPed to a party and didn't show.
I HATE doing that and I do it all the freaking time.
Not that I don't want to go- I DO!
Even today, I left Kate's riding lessons early to make dinner early to get out of the house early to be on time to the baby shower. Jimmy knew what I was doing. And we both forgot!


It was only at 9:30 that I realized what a total space cadet I was tonight.
Seriously!
I get into the groove: make dinner, clean kitchen, feed baby, help with homework, brush teeth, read scriptures, family prayer, kisses goodnight. It is only when I sit down to rest from the day that it dawns on me what I've done.
I write it on the calendar. I receive email updates. I had a friend text me just hours before asking if I was going- I said yes!!!


Does anyone have a cure all for this problem?

I love free stuff!

The library in our town has a really cool program. The program encourages Napa residents to go out and explore local museums. 'Local' to them is all around the Bay Area- including San Francisco, San Jose, Santa Rosa and here in Napa.









Wanna know how it works?! On the Library website, there's a link to the Discover and Go page. On that page, you browse through available dates and choose the day you would like to go out. Then, you choose a museum. After choosing a museum, you print out FREE passes and go! That is it. Why is it only NOW that I am learning about this program?!?! There is the option to go to museums that cost almost as much as Disneyland per day! There is a wealth of culture and here am I ready to soak it all up. I cannot wait to go to my first museum! Now how to choose...

Cinderella

Poor Kate was put to work today.
She had no school because of the earthquake and inspections being incomplete.
Most kids her age spent the day lounging.
My kid helped me scrub down the entire kitchen. As in, empty every cupboard, scour the insides and return items in an orderly fashion.
The one time she complained, I gave her a hard time because there are kids in the world who don't have houses to clean.
Seriously?! I used that line?
I think I was having just as hard of a time completing the task that I didn't need negativity. One little comment pushed me over the edge.
Who really likes scrubbing out dirty cabinets? No one- is the right answer.
You know what, though? Working hard with my daughter is one of my favorite things to do with her. She is funny.
She is smart.
And, goodness does she spill the beans about everything when she's bored while we're working. Bonus points: we have something clean or built or baked in the end. I am thrilled that my ten year old is not typical for her age. She works alongside me and has since she was a toddler. Starting when she was three, Kate would help me serve at funerals for members of our congregation. I could truck that kid along anywhere I went. And I feel that the level of our relationship has increased each time we've used good old elbow grease. She is not afraid to get her hands dirty, that girl. I am proud of her. I hope that she has at least some fond memories of growing up in our family.
Because it's an awful lot of work.

Aftermath

Today was a trying day. No school because of the earthquake yesterday. And we had my in-laws' sleep at our house last night because their house is uninhabitable right now. It was fun to have a sleepover, but going to bed was really difficult for me. To be honest, I was terrified when it got dark last night. I didn't want to wake up to rumbling again. The earthquake hit at 3:20 am. Baby woke up last night to eat at 2:30am. While she was eating, I kept watching the clock. I had major anxiety watching each minute pass and grow closer to the same exact time of night the catastrophe hit 24 hours ago. I lived, though. I made it past 3:20 and was able to fall back asleep. But the previous day was exhausting- emotionally and physically. We spent most of today just taking shifts sleeping. I thought for sure I would get a ton done. But doing laundry proved to be disastrous when the spin cycle hit. I jumped up so fast thinking another earthquake was coming. The anxiety was not worth the clean clothes. I just keep thinking in midst of mundane tasks, "What if it hit right now? Where would I stand? Could I get to the kids? Would the glass shatter? Where is Jimmy?" I feel like my peace has been taken away from me. I know it will return in time. But the night is coming and that is when I get most scared. Here are some shots of downtown:

6.1

We were jolted awake this morning by a 6.1 earthquake rocking the Napa valley.

It was scary.  Jimmy and I jumped out of bed and went to get the girls. I was standing in the hallway under the doorjamb waiting for Jimmy and could not for the life of me go and get Vivy. My past history with earthquakes has caused me to be paralyzed with fear when it comes to quakes. I was shaking so much that I had to send Jimmy to get the baby. Kate and I just huddled in the door way waiting for him to come back. Then we walked all together to get shoes. And then all together to get on appropriate clothes. Then all together to try and call family in town. I was holding Kate's hand tighter than she had mine. Out of the whole family, I was being the wimpiest. Nothing had fallen in our house, so I thought that maybe I was overreacting. When we finally got ahold of Jimmy's parents, we realized how very untrue that was. Their house was in complete disarray. All of their dishes had broken and book shelves were toppled in each room. They were nearly trapped in their beds by all the fallen debris. We tried to fall back asleep for a few hours with no luck.

When morning and light came, we sprung into action. I took a shower because power had returned and Jimmy got in his suit to go to the church and help Bishop. We all got in the car fully loaded car to help those who needed it. Kate and I dropped Jimmy off at the church to do bishopric responsibilities and went on to serve. We checked on many different families and gave food and water, comfort and hugs. We ended our humanitarian trip at my in-laws'. There we found this:

Those are just a few pictures of the damage they suffered. Kate and I spent the day helping clean everything up. They did not have power all day. Fortunately, everyone was safe. Honestly, all the people we checked on were unharmed. What a huge blessing! I am glad that we were able to help. I don't want to experience any more earthquakes. No thank you.

Desperation

When I planned the food for the first night of the retreat, I also planned dessert. I had decided to do my old chocolate mint standby. Those cupcakes are delicious. But when I went to the store to get cake mixes, there were not enough boxes of chocolate to make all the cupcakes I had planned to make. So I hastily put two boxes of yellow cake mix in the cart and moved on. When I went to the jam/jelly aisle, I was hoping that inspiration would kick in. I vacillated between raspberry preserves and blueberry jam. Then.. off to the side I saw a jar of Nutella. Ooooh... I think I could do something with that! I came up with a new creation that I have to say is now one of my favorites!

Below you will see

yellow cake with Nutella filling, caramel buttercream, caramel drizzle and buncha crunch topping.

I know, right?!

Perspective

Well, I'd like to think I learned a lesson today. Here I am going to wax all poetic. Our Relief Society holds a retreat every year. I look forward to this event immensely. This year was no different. Part of this retreat is eating good food that is cooked by different sisters each meal. I signed up for Friday night dinner. For different circumstances, each of my committee members were not available to help with any of the food. There was just something that kept us all from working together. It turned out that I ended up preparing everything. Normally, that would have been easy for me to do, but with a new baby it takes extra time to do everything. Fortunately, Jimmy and Kate were so helpful and I was able to get the car loaded just in the nick of time. I was so frazzled and angry, to be honest. I had tried my best to ask for help, but the people I asked were not flexible. It was quite frankly frustrating because I rarely ask for help.
When I started driving down the hill my thought process went from livid to thoughtful.
In preparation for the retreat, I had talked to many sisters who were planning on attending. In each case, their week was particularly difficult. I thought this: that is probably because the adversary did not want us there. He did not want me to be fulfilled spiritually and feed my friendships. Upon realizing that this weekend would be fantastic if I let it, I started to change my perspective. I started the drive to the retreat in a total dark cloud and came out the other side with a clear mind and grateful heart. In a total aha! moment, the speaker that evening said, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." It was such a blessing to be at the retreat that night. The food was great and I didn't even get upset when the committee left without helping to clean up. Talk about a change of perspective!

Waiting

My friend Carla and I went to Larry's Produce this morning. Larry's is always inexpensive, but occasionally there is a screaming deal on produce that is past its prime. Today, Carla and I were looking in the fridge section for berries with no luck. Then, I saw a man walk past me with two large containers of blueberries. I hunted down an employee of the produce stand and asked where I might find the blueberries. He directed me to the entrance, where the deals of the day hang out. I saw a swarm of people huddled around a pallet of blueberries like vultures. I joined them, of course and grabbed 2.5 pounds of blueberries for fifty cents! The only catch was that each container had a few berries with mold growing on them. I inspected the clear package carefully seeing if it was worth the sorting required. And then I chose two to take home and treat for consumption. I was so jazzed about the deal that I excitedly shared my find with Carla who promptly picked up two containers also.


When we got back into town, Carla mentioned that she was not willing to pick through all the blueberries and gave her baskets to me. Maybe that girl was onto something...


Later in the evening, I had a ton of work to do in the kitchen. Whenever that happens, our family goes into what I like to call 'battle mode'. We hunker down at the table, I make a list of things to be done and divide it into appropriate jobs. My sweet family has always been so good about pitching in to get everything done quickly. One of the items on Jimmy's list this time was to sort, wash and freeze the blueberries in the kitchen. While I had been in the dining room hollowing out cupcakes to be filled, I came into the kitchen to Jimmy obviously unhappy. Before him was a mammoth pile of blueberries to one side a tiny bowl with maybe one dozen blueberries on the other side. He looked at me and in all seriousness stated, "This is the worst job you've ever given me."
In what was probably the most insensitive moment I've shared with that man, I laughed out loud. He was not amused. I took over and started sorting the berries in Jelly Belly mode. What is Jelly Belly mode, you ask? Well, the Jelly Belly factory runs a tour where you can go through the factory and see how the jelly beans are made. The most tedious job on the planet falls to the 'bean sorter'. This person sits in a chair and watches a conveyor belt of miniscule jelly beans go by and picks out all the duds.
That was me. I should have timed myself. It was actually kind of fun. Jimmy just sat next to me at the table and would stare at the pile of blueberries and grumbled. He would periodically grab a bad berry and plop it in the dud pile. His worsening mood made me try even harder to cheer him up. So I said, "Jimmy, we just got $50 worth of blueberries for one dollar!!! All I have to do is put in the work to sort the berries. Isn't that great?!"
He got up from the table and responded, "I didn't go to college so you could do this."
My sweet husband has been having a hard time lately. He is frustrated with the non response to his job hunting. I am not exaggerating when I say that he has applied for at least one job every day, except Sunday since he graduated over 2 years ago. Every day. Would you like to know how many interviews he's had? One scheduled, then they cancelled. Student loans cost a lot of money, folks. And so this man's frustrations stem from the fact that he went to school to better our situation and now it is worse than before he went to school because of the loans. We are pretty much living in Catch 22.
It pains me to watch Jimmy do everything he can to no avail. Those are not fighting words- they are true. He has done EVERYTHING. Jimmy has done the following things:
-Had his resume professionally tailored
-Gone to the church offered job services in Concord and Oakland
-Sent out 15-20 resumes weekly
-Prayer. Lots and lots of prayer
It has been hard on him. I admire this man. Because I watch him being so persistent and not getting anywhere. I honestly don't know how he hasn't gone crazy yet. But I contributed to pushing him over the edge when I asked him to sort blueberries. This trial of our faith is a doozy. I think that's our style. Just think, we had another doozy waiting for baby to get here. Going through that TEN YEAR wait was near torture! It wasn't just waiting, either. It was praying, fasting, crying and so many other things to make us stretch. I look at Vivy's face everyday and know that the wait was worth it. In fact, now that I know her, I would've waited even longer. And so, now I am sorting blueberries and buying meat on sale and making do just waiting for things to change financially. For things to go our way. I am guessing that when the waiting is done, it will all be worth it.

How's breastfeeding going?

Just recently, I got up for a middle of the night feeding. I usually feed Vivy sitting up in bed, completely uncovered by the blankets because I get so hot. This particular night was no different. I situated myself and baby and threw the covers back over Jimmy. And then, a HUGE (like, bigger than my thumb huge) potato bug scuttled out from under the covers!
Oh my gosh! It was disgusting!!! I have no idea how it got there, but that lack of knowledge did not keep me from screaming like a 40 year old Italian man being waxed for the very first time. Jimmy hopped into action in a sleepy stupor. He worked quickly and quietly and promptly went back to sleep. The whole rest of the feeding, I went through all the scenarios in my head of things that could happen while I was nursing a baby and was rendered helpless.
It was that story inducing manic brain that Jimmy confronted in the morning, "What in the world were you freaking out about last night?" he queried.  
"What do you mean?! It was only the biggest potato bug that ever lived crawling out from under the covers to eat me!!"
He went on to deny the freakish manner in which the night passed because he hardly remembered anything. My man can sleep with the best of them.
Fall asleep sitting up? He's got that covered.
Doze off in the middle of a conversation? Jimmy's your man.
And now he can add to his illustrious sleep resume 'can dispatch of freakishly huge bugs without an iota of fear'.
I know Jimmy took care of the potato bug in his sleep, because seeing that man try and conquer a spider in the day time is like living in a sorority house...